deepundergroundpoetry.com

Anything

I am afraid I am
too much to
want or to
love or anything
other than
forget entirely
when I become
too restless or
otherwise lethargic
in my bed.
I am afraid that
maybe I am
a speck
but I am also
terrified of
being someone's
universe.
I am afraid I am
some awful thing
that no one could
know wholly -
I am something -
but, truly
maybe
I am very much,
a very vast amount
of nothing.
To say the truth,
I am terrified
to feel or be felt.
I am afraid of my
words -
of my impact:
that I may become
some worshipped
poet: a tragic
thing studied by
bored teenagers in
their structured
room
or that I may hold no
significance at
all in this life.
And how I am
terrified
and
tired
of my own
soul.
I wish I could be
awful, selfish
and cast its burden
upon someone else
who think it a
blessing.
I wish I could
be someone
else.
I wish I were not
afraid.