dotted line

So the tail can tell the tale - a persuasive argument but for the fact that words are our calling

indeed.
thank you kindly Whale!

... Yes the dotted line my friend, hold fast. A short write with jagged edges that hides its true meaning. I like it brother man.

word...most of what I was hoping for.
very much appreciated my friend...cheers!

LB

I s'pose taken at face value the words few as they are, are pretty powerful and (blunt).

I think if it lacks a thing, that thing would be you, or your personality rather. Understandable in terms of trying to inject yourself into so few words, so any suggestions would be few

'cos I'm done dying'

not a major thing but the 'on at the end of the third may be better placed at the start of the fourth, might kind of emphasize or accentuate 'depends. On that note 'one of us' might deserve its own line too.
 

anyhow, as said powerful stuff LB

shine on, man

I had written this for the 20 word comp and kept the rigidity here...no real need - I see what you mean in the "cos" suggestion. hafta consider what me voice i'd want in there. but point taken and much appreciated will be thinking on it

also yeah that "on" didn't feel quite right to me- but didn't exactly feel wrong...but I think you are right

thank ya much m'friend

took all dem suggestions. helluva guy- again, thanks!

To me its good the way it is. It makes the reader think about its meaning. It holds our attention. Good write.

Much appreciated Xmar
thank you for reading