deepundergroundpoetry.com

The Day My Heart Stopped Beating

Today my heart stopped beating.
Because I blinked my eyes and for a single moment.
My son was able to fall out of his crib.
He hit the floor after flipping over the bars.
There was a thud, a crash-- And everything stopped.
Then he started crying.
Screaming, and he had a bruise on his head.
Andrew was up and we picked Gaige up together.
And Andrew held him against him.
My mom came into the room next.
We all freaked out.
Andrew handed me our son.
I laid down on the bed next to him and held him against me.
Trying to calm his cries.
I wiped his tears.
And we put a spoon under water.
Making it cold and putting it to the bump on his little head.
And I held him and soon he stopped crying.
He took the spoon from me and started playing with it.
I checked his back, legs, arms and neck.
But he was alright.
We called the doctor--
The doctor said to check for signs of concussion.
But he hasn't shown any yet.
It's been a few hours since this happened.
And I can still remember the traumatizing feeling.
Of hearing the thud, and seeing my son laying on the floor crying.
And I can still feel my heart stop in my chest.
�
Today my heart stopped in my chest.
Because my son took a fall out of his crib.
While he cried, he clung to me for comfort.
Making me feel like a mother.
And I held him against me.
And even though it's been over a year.
For a minute we were one again.
Mother and son.
And I held him and played with him until I saw him smile.
And I heard his laugh.
And I kissed his head and hugged him tightly.
I never want this to happen again.
�
Today my heart stopped beating in my chest.
Because my son took a fall out of his crib.
I never want to experience that sick, digusting feeling again.
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It's been hours since this happened.
My boyfriend is playing with our son.
My mother is in her room.
Gaige is okay, probably has no idea that it even happened.
But I'm finally relaxing, calming down and taking a deep breath.
My son took a fall from his crib.
And for a moment my entire world stopped where it stood.
Turned on it's axis and went up in flames.
Today my heart stopped beating in my chest.
I couldn't breathe for that solid minute.
Until he was handed to me.
And then he clung to me for comfort.
Making the reason I became a mother become apparent to me once again.
�
Today my heart stopped beating in my chest.
My son clung to me for comfort when he was hurt.
I wiped his tears and watched him smile after the scariest thing to happen to him ever.
And I held him and I kissed his bruised head.
Watched him play with a spoon.
And laugh and smile again.
�
And slowly, very, very slowly, my heart resumed beating in my chest.
And I could finally breathe once again.