deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Long Wait
There’s a pressure behind me
but I've stopped turning around.
It’s the weight of a boulder at the end
of a climbing road, the one that leads me
to a dusty house.
I hear the spaces between the notes,
the interruptions of songs when static
chokes the air. Silence evades me,
seeking its own refuge from the salt
of wounds and tears.
Where do I go? Every place has transformed
into waiting platforms at stations devoid
of arrivals. The clocks spins in situ,
so I flip through calendar pages;
every square is blank.
Yesterday, a blind man sat in the sun
and smiled. I saw the leaves swirl
around his shoes, on the borrowed
life of winds. He knows something
I have forgotten.
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likes 9
reading list entries 3
comments 23
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: The Long Wait
9th Feb 2014 3:13pm
I'm not sure what to say, but I like this it reminds me of the place where it's always 6 o'clock, always dusk and nothing is clear,
everything hides but you keep searching because you know, it, something is there.
cool write.
everything hides but you keep searching because you know, it, something is there.
cool write.
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re: Re: The Long Wait
10th Feb 2014 3:57pm
re: Re: The Long Wait
10th Feb 2014 3:57pm
Re: The Long Wait
Anonymous
9th Feb 2014 4:45pm
Some learn to forget the false importance of time. The wealth of the moment as the only true reality seems only to be cherished by the old or the prisoner. Deep, thought provoking piece, thank you, Mike.
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re: Re: The Long Wait
10th Feb 2014 3:59pm
Mike, you are so right about time. I am honoured by the thoughts you shared, and grateful for the new insights from the poem. Thank you.
Re: The Long Wait
9th Feb 2014 10:14pm
swallowed ache ... and then your tip-toe from obscurity delivers a heat come from a million miles to smile the blind in your brilliance...such gentle words delivering a smart rap from the masters stick
"leaves swirl..on the borrowed life of winds" lines to swirl me in the novelty of your expression
"leaves swirl..on the borrowed life of winds" lines to swirl me in the novelty of your expression
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re: Re: The Long Wait
10th Feb 2014 4:00pm
Re: The Long Wait
9th Feb 2014 10:54pm
re: Re: The Long Wait
10th Feb 2014 4:01pm
Re: The Long Wait
10th Feb 2014 4:24pm
And I'm right there on that platform with the blank squares on my calender, but still moving even though the direction is unclear. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
I connect with this Atakti. Great writing as always. ;)
I connect with this Atakti. Great writing as always. ;)
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re: Re: The Long Wait
11th Feb 2014 6:42am
Thank you, Magda, for sharing the connection. This was written about grief, but also applies to the self-imposed limbo we sometimes find ourselves in...
re: re: Re: The Long Wait
11th Feb 2014 7:04am
Re: The Long Wait
I felt the emptiness of the house and silence of her presence frozen in time. The imagery is vivid throughout, the last stanza is a real nice touch. A solid piece of writing, Atakti.
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re: Re: The Long Wait
12th Feb 2014 9:05am
It was a difficult write, and I'm guessing not an easy read. Thank you for the honor of your reading list, Case. I appreciate your feedback!
Re: The Long Wait
Anonymous
12th Feb 2014 7:15am
There's a sense of loss and emptiness, searching for something while the mind is in state of numb and disconnect.
I feel ive been there a few times, sadly.
Great last stanza Atakti.
I feel ive been there a few times, sadly.
Great last stanza Atakti.
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re: Re: The Long Wait
12th Feb 2014 9:09am
I'm sorry to hear you identify with this loss, Vee. This has been the fuel for a few of my writes and I find it helpful but still difficult. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Re: The Long Wait
12th Feb 2014 5:59pm
Each stanza contributes to the overall in your poem of loss and limbo so well conveyed in your images and feelings you've painted. Everyone who has experienced loss, grief, pain and being alone
will feel it in your write to some degree. Me? I'm going up to the blind man and make a friend.
will feel it in your write to some degree. Me? I'm going up to the blind man and make a friend.
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re: Re: The Long Wait
14th Feb 2014 9:00pm
I like your thinking, Jake. I threw that in as a reminder of what could be, if only one accepts.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments and support, always welcome.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments and support, always welcome.
Re: The Long Wait
14th Feb 2014 10:42am
Re: The Long Wait
Anonymous
17th Feb 2014 8:38pm
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re: Re: The Long Wait
20th Feb 2014 1:11pm