deepundergroundpoetry.com
Circles
The old man was feeling better today.
He had taken his tablets.
His heart palpitated with a more comfortable regularity than the
swollen sputtering that curdled his blood.
Each day
I could see the blankness of death in his daughter's face,
how the distance between her eyes widened,
and the length of her upper lip protruded
towards the ground.
Her face looked like a vast desert.
But the old man,
he smiled amusedly as his children debated the expensive maintenance of
his heart. His eyes twinkled as his wife,
his second,
pressed the aged veins around his arms.
The blood of his ancestors
ran in circles between his heart and his kidneys,
a journey of 80 years
and perhaps a few more.
He had taken his tablets.
His heart palpitated with a more comfortable regularity than the
swollen sputtering that curdled his blood.
Each day
I could see the blankness of death in his daughter's face,
how the distance between her eyes widened,
and the length of her upper lip protruded
towards the ground.
Her face looked like a vast desert.
But the old man,
he smiled amusedly as his children debated the expensive maintenance of
his heart. His eyes twinkled as his wife,
his second,
pressed the aged veins around his arms.
The blood of his ancestors
ran in circles between his heart and his kidneys,
a journey of 80 years
and perhaps a few more.
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Re: Circles
3rd Feb 2014 9:46am
Very beautiful story, and write!! Often, old men smile about their worried children! I like the last stanza...
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re: Re: Circles
3rd Feb 2014 10:35am
Re: Circles
3rd Feb 2014 9:48am
re: Re: Circles
3rd Feb 2014 10:36am
Thank you, kexby. Yes, it is a pleasure and a challenge to record the ordinary, as you do!
Re: Circles
3rd Feb 2014 9:59am
I'm guessing this is based on people you know, situations you've witnessed. the children seem concerned about their inheritance. if there is still passion in a man's life, no expense is too great to maintain it...
1
re: Re: Circles
3rd Feb 2014 10:38am
A keen eye, John, yes, and only his second (much younger) wife whom the children despise turn out to be the most devoted to the old man.
Re: Circles
3rd Feb 2014 2:34pm
very
very
fine mini-portrait, without
succumbing
to any need to further
de'scribe the 'characters' &
leaving 'the essence' open-ended
very
fine mini-portrait, without
succumbing
to any need to further
de'scribe the 'characters' &
leaving 'the essence' open-ended
1
re: Re: Circles
4th Feb 2014 1:15pm
Thanks Danny! Oh what a funny avatar photo you have there!!! Ahahah! :) I love it!!! So Dada! Now I gotta call you Dada and mean it! :D
re: re: Re: Circles
4th Feb 2014 1:38pm
Re: Circles
3rd Feb 2014 2:47pm
It is a pleasure to read all these "images".
Very strong and poetic the ideia of the blood`s circle that unify people.
Very strong and poetic the ideia of the blood`s circle that unify people.
1
re: Re: Circles
4th Feb 2014 1:16pm
Hi Celino! Thank you! The old man is still alive, needs less medicine now, has married his second wife (after living together for 2 years), and is visiting his children in the city. :
re: re: Re: Circles
Re: Circles
Anonymous
3rd Feb 2014 9:03pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Circles
4th Feb 2014 1:16pm
Oh hi, Gabriel! :) Thank you for the comment - those are my favourite lines too. The old man had heart troubles, and thereupon I learned that the heart is connected to the kidneys. if the kidney has problems pumping blood through the body, the heart has to work much harder. :)
I also learned that the heart links to the lungs ... but that's another story! Ahah! :)
I also learned that the heart links to the lungs ... but that's another story! Ahah! :)
Re: Circles
Anonymous
5th Feb 2014 8:11am
Good observational piece, so much to learn by watching the older and much wiser generation. The last stanza captures the feel perfectly.
1
re: Re: Circles
5th Feb 2014 10:23am
Hi Vee! Thank you. :) This poems along with others goes into a 'category' called "Home" - much about the place where I now live, my second home. It is an old rural life transitioning into a semi-urban lifestyle ...
Re: Circles
6th Feb 2014 8:04am
I love old gentlemen like this, his family anticipating his departure yet there's a twinkle in his eye, humour in his smile and his lovely wife to keep him young. It seems to me, while waiting impatiently for his money, his daughter may succumb before he does. He's a long time dead yet.
Beautifully written.
Beautifully written.
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