Broken Clock

It's quite something
To stand up for yourself
To not allow mistreatment of your heart
To say "no!" when you've had enough
To let it go
And walk away knowing you'll be okay

It's quite another thing
To wonder about moments
To realize they were never shared
To understand that everything that meant something
In reality meant absolutely nothing
Feels like such a tragedy
And disappoints pretty badly

What are moments anyway?
Just waves of good feelings
Exaggerated by hope
And the belief that you're not in it alone
You either get your assurance through luck
Or you find out when it's too late
That it was just you
But while it's happening you can never really know, sadly

Then I guess when it goes wrong
You accept it and continue on
Hoping you don't make the same mistake twice
There's only one way to do it
And that's really to go through it
It just kinda sucks when you have to feel
To know what's real
Because it's a painful reveal
But ah well, you deal

And so here I am, dealing
Neither suppressing nor concealing
Watching the days go by in amazement
New behaviour, pattern changes
So much for communication
Time ticks by so fast, and we haven't talked
But they don't even notice

Unheard silence, dysfunctional clock
Time perception out of wack
Nope, it's not that
It's just proven fact
That they never really cared
Not at all, not with the slightest bit of their heart
And the truth is, they never will
Not ever

No matter what time passes by
The clock will always remain broken
It's unfixable because
They have no interest in fixing
Unfathomable levels of cluelessness
Actions admitting
It's better left on the shelf
Just easier that way

So fine, I'll do it, get it over with
I'll shatter it
Smash it to pieces
Break the damn thing to an unrecognizable state
Fuck this shit clock
It never really gave me moments
It only ever gave me false bodies of time
That meant nothing to you
But too much to me

And I guess that told me something
Wasted time turns clocks into waste