Numb Agony

Nothing hurts.
Everything hurts.
The numbness ...
The explosions in my head.
So much pain.
My darkness over comes me.
I cannot do this
I will not cry.
I don't breath.
I don't see.
I don't smile
or live.
I am darkness
and pain.
I am numb agony.

I can scream
so you can't hear.
I can cry
so you can't see.
I can smile
to hide the truth.
You will see my mask.
Such a pretty mask ...
Am I pretty now?
Sewing my lips shut
coating my face;
remove any sign
that I was ever
me.
Am I pretty now?
A little doll,
robotic voice, always repeating;
Am I pretty now?
Starve.
Paint my face.
Learn poise, be a "Lady"
Am I pretty now?

Numb agony, bubbling up inside.
Numb agony, ready to explode, but never will.
Numb agony; is that all I am?
Numb agony ...
Numb Agony.
Is that my name?

Numb Agony ...