deepundergroundpoetry.com
Joyous Battle For Two
Covering terrain, securing that fragile domain
assault on senses all steps ahead, no more dread
soldier on the spot and the arsenal has been brought
"la petit mort" complete with a kiss, sure shot not to miss
invasion encouraged vibes freed, who shall take lead
the strongest defense in the mind removing doubts that bind
Infantry lays the ground work, mano a mano
navy uniquely qualified for the depths of water unknown
air engagement much needed in the exertion embarked
leads to that final battle in that central erogenous zone
debate the symbol at the top but
no speculation as to the presence of a pole
A bloodless battle the final outcome
two surrenders with no ultimate defeated force
diplomatic endeavors still cherishing
the thought of further engagement....
assault on senses all steps ahead, no more dread
soldier on the spot and the arsenal has been brought
"la petit mort" complete with a kiss, sure shot not to miss
invasion encouraged vibes freed, who shall take lead
the strongest defense in the mind removing doubts that bind
Infantry lays the ground work, mano a mano
navy uniquely qualified for the depths of water unknown
air engagement much needed in the exertion embarked
leads to that final battle in that central erogenous zone
debate the symbol at the top but
no speculation as to the presence of a pole
A bloodless battle the final outcome
two surrenders with no ultimate defeated force
diplomatic endeavors still cherishing
the thought of further engagement....
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Re: Joyous Battle For Two
20th Jan 2014 2:56am
central erogenous....... zone
could be park
u have a seemingly military mind
have you been left in war behind
could be park
u have a seemingly military mind
have you been left in war behind
1
re: Re: Joyous Battle For Two
20th Jan 2014 4:17am
I was intentionally trying to compare armed conflict with a more personal battle between a man and a woman...
Re: Joyous Battle For Two
20th Jan 2014 4:44am
arsenal has been... brought ????
may be bought
infantry lays the ground work, mano a mano
navy uniquely qualified for the depths of water unknown
air engagement much needed in the exertion embarked
leads to that final battle in that central erogenous zone
debate the symbol at the top but
rephrase as ////perhaps
fire arms ...torpedos and missiles fire simultaneously
in the unknown terrain and tunnels
and cause massive destruction ..explosions ..likerussian molotov coktails explosions we call orgasms
..something like that maybe inside a womans tunnel
no speculation as to the presence of a
victorious flag pole... which is in the winds flowered ..as a sign of victory ...as men cum maybe
perhaps these words...
will ignite urs
lower more hotter and much more
best of luck
poet sir
all the best fire on pole
may be bought
infantry lays the ground work, mano a mano
navy uniquely qualified for the depths of water unknown
air engagement much needed in the exertion embarked
leads to that final battle in that central erogenous zone
debate the symbol at the top but
rephrase as ////perhaps
fire arms ...torpedos and missiles fire simultaneously
in the unknown terrain and tunnels
and cause massive destruction ..explosions ..likerussian molotov coktails explosions we call orgasms
..something like that maybe inside a womans tunnel
no speculation as to the presence of a
victorious flag pole... which is in the winds flowered ..as a sign of victory ...as men cum maybe
perhaps these words...
will ignite urs
lower more hotter and much more
best of luck
poet sir
all the best fire on pole
1
re: Re: Joyous Battle For Two
20th Jan 2014 11:08pm
thanks for the critique. Might get in there and makes some changes; most of the time I don't have the patience to revise compositions. I intentionally tried to make the analogy subtle rather then a blatant, upfront approach.
re: re: Re: Joyous Battle For Two
20th Jan 2014 11:44pm
Re: Joyous Battle For Two
20th Jan 2014 6:59pm
When two submit and surrender to the battle of love, each becomes the winner of a cherished war of passion.
I like the way you weaved the two together....Xo
I like the way you weaved the two together....Xo
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re: Re: Joyous Battle For Two
21st Jan 2014 00:03am
thanks---this is probably shorter then it should be but I kind of ran out of steam.
Re: Joyous Battle For Two
20th Jan 2014 8:35pm
What's more intimate than a battlefield of passion on a bodily level? The common theme of military vocabulary is very skillfull elaborated. Impressive, Jazz.
1
re: Re: Joyous Battle For Two
21st Jan 2014 00:06am
Re: Joyous Battle For Two
20th Jan 2014 11:22pm
re: Re: Joyous Battle For Two
21st Jan 2014 00:10am
Thanks; I can't say armed conflict is a topic I know much about; dad served for 4 years just before the Korean War broke out. The few stories he did relate to me weren't exactly positive.
re: re: Re: Joyous Battle For Two
21st Jan 2014 2:16am
Indeed...My Father and Grandfather...and I landing in the section of lucky timing...but dad says im the milkmans kid...so its hard to tell...
1