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Black Boredom

My boredom is suicidal
and is trying to convince me
it would be fun to chase it down that rabbit hole

Some days Iím so bored
I want to kill myself just for something to do
though death is never my end game
I simply want to sleep
and wake up when the intermission
of this play is over

Because Iím on a stage that only God can see
and I havenít rehearsed my lines, and like
the only audience member at a peepshow
heís sure to see me masturbating
behind the cardboard shrubbery

I promise Iím not having conversations with myself
itís just that my mirror has learned to talk
and Iíve covered it with jewellery
so that I pretend that Iím glamorous
when the monotonous routine
of dressing my skin makes me want to peel
it away from my bones
so that I might see what I look like
completely naked
without the vanity of a crooked self esteem

My head could be an empty fish tank
turned upside down
my brain matter splattered across the floor
like modern art with more soul
Iím a lonely observation
the phone doesnít ring
Iím not even sure itís connected
turn all the lights on and weíll pretend like someone is home
perpetual debt gives me something to complain about

My boredom is suicidal
and is trying to convince me
it would be fun to chase it down that rabbit hole
some days get so bored
I think I want to die

It gives me something
to dream about

© Indie Adams 2014
Written by Indie (Miss Indie)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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