deepundergroundpoetry.com
gifts
nothing, fit for paupers
and kings, space to be
and breathe... where no
expectations crowd us
the pause between beats,
on the peak of the arc —
neither up nor down
suspended in between
the engines are silent,
conductor's baton is still...
the eyes see nothing
in the stolen dusk fog
Published 24th Dec 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 0
comments 16
reads 1135
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
24th Dec 2013 3:25pm
youse given it wit nyce wurds! rM.
26th Dec 2013 4:22am
Anonymous
25th Dec 2013 6:04am
Sometimes that moment of peace is all that's needed... suspension of everything...
26th Dec 2013 4:23am
25th Dec 2013 6:34am
26th Dec 2013 4:29am
Anonymous
25th Dec 2013 10:05am
ah, the image just popped out, like this picture in a children s picture book , you know those that open themselves up
It had the nostalgia of classical poetry
It had the nostalgia of classical poetry
26th Dec 2013 4:40am
:)
OK, Mourganna, if I ever publish anything, you are first choice to write the summary review on the back! Thank you for another refreshing comment...
OK, Mourganna, if I ever publish anything, you are first choice to write the summary review on the back! Thank you for another refreshing comment...
Anonymous
26th Dec 2013 6:39am
DEAL! (big smile)
26th Dec 2013 3:10pm
26th Dec 2013 4:40pm
Somehow, I managed this write, though I'm not too tranquil myself... Some self-medication...
Thank you, Magdalena.
Thank you, Magdalena.
Anonymous
26th Dec 2013 3:49pm
<< post removed >>
26th Dec 2013 4:41pm
26th Dec 2013 4:33pm
AAHHhhhh....a piece of perpetual,
spiritual tranquility...a momentary seamless union of mind and body....
A state of transcendence.....
Sioch`ain leat, mo Chara :)
spiritual tranquility...a momentary seamless union of mind and body....
A state of transcendence.....
Sioch`ain leat, mo Chara :)
26th Dec 2013 4:45pm
Momentary pauses, the space between... glad you found it in the ink, Friend. Thank you...
:)
:)
Your words made think about my gift, when I sit on my surfboard out the back of the breakers and stare at the horizon and meditate in some form. The gift for me is a place to escape and contemplate or just feel the moment.
I thought the last two lines could be reworked a little to finish with a positive by not using the words "nothing" and "fog." I thought something like the following may work:
"mystic eyes stare
into the stolen dusk"
A very thought provoking piece, I enjoyed it.
I thought the last two lines could be reworked a little to finish with a positive by not using the words "nothing" and "fog." I thought something like the following may work:
"mystic eyes stare
into the stolen dusk"
A very thought provoking piece, I enjoyed it.
