Can you see the lie written all over my face?

 
Strange to be on top of my thirties
and have the look of one fresh out of high school
I admit
It gives me reason to feel good
When I look in the mirror
I realize how it must expand my options
In finding other lovers

But on the whole

Its a bit of a curse
People see someone young
and they treat you accordingly
Then when they hear a person of experience
speaking through this young girls mouth
It's obviously uncomfortable
You can see the moment the mind is thrown off balance
Where the reality doesn't match the perception anymore.
Usually followed by some trite remark
"You should smile more...you're so pretty when you smile."

*sigh*

Mostly, I play the part
I put on my silly mask and girlish charm
and play the clown for everyone
Now what they see is what they get
Sometimes I think I even manage to convince myself

and sometimes

I wish I could be as alone as I feel
At least then I could be just me
In the solitude of my own company