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Image for the poem For Research Purposes Only-the vagina tree-

For Research Purposes Only-the vagina tree-

        
  Nobody really knows when or where the vaginas started
appearing in trees.  Sometimes they would be a waist level
but more often than not they would be high up in the branches
and young boy scouts would leave their troops to go climbing and find them and lose their virginity.
 
However, it did muchly improve the appreciation of nature in the location where the vagina trees first appeared. Hiker clubs spontaneously  began, church groups would organize all male camping trips for male bonding and spiritual growth.
 
It wasnt until a few women noticing a change their partner's libido, did some private investigating, and blew the whole vagina tree syndrome completely out of the water.  Newspapers were all abuzz, rightious wholesome moms advertising orange juice and good sex at home, and women marching for marital purity took hold in the town.  
 
Any tree found to have a vagina was chopped down although some wood choppers refused.  Some men, having grown attached to their vagina, bought the land around their tree, and put up barbed wire fencing, and camped out.  
the women fought back, demanding enforcement of requiring permits for fencing, and ruling that barbed wire was too barbaric for the modern age, and against temporary structures such as tents remaing up longer than two weeks.
 
bestiality laws were studied to see if it also applied to trees.
 
The whole problem began to equalize somewhat when the first penises were sighted, bobbing up and down in their diurnal erection cycles on wild milkweed plants.
 
the ladies, finding a certain pleasure in the new development, abandonded their need for males, and joined them in their hiking and nature activities.
 
When the fair number of the people of the town were so occupied in the meadows and the forests, they turned to native foods, such as grass to subsist on, failing to return home for days on end, leaving their children abandoned.
 
Child and protective services were of little help as the foster parents where they normally would put stolen children with, were also muchly occupied and so they too quit work and went to the wilderness to see what the fuck was going on.
 
It did not help the human condition to learn that sex with the plants was more enjoyable than sex with each other. The National Security Agency kept close tabs on the situation, monitoring the locations of the partakers by following the GPS signals sent back by their cell phones.
 
Once it became apparent that over 80 percent of the children, women and men, including former wheelchair bound elderly, were off in the fields getting the sex they needed, with the few and far between die-hard resistors holding down the moral fabric of the town, it became very clear to the national security of this country that the town had to be wiped from the face of the earth, of this abomination.  
 
A massive mobilization of Herbicide and fly-over helicopters were  mobilized to the region, publicly announcing that this region was chosen as a national practice ground for the war against home groan marijuana
 
But the savvy mountain people knew, with the help of a leak by Eric Snowden.  mostly only the small trees could be dug up and moved.  the milkweed was no problem, due to its smaller size and now it was the men lamenting their state, as both sexes worked together at night in the struggle for sexual freedom.
 
In their exhaustion for manning the underground railroad to getting the trees and plants to safetly before the big spray,
one, then another, and another, followed by almost everyone, discovered each other, and how sexually desireable each of them were to the other after their long hard work.
 
The spray happened, the rare and unique plant life was all but destroyed except for a few sample plants which the government seized for study taking them to Area 57, which no one knows where that is, since Mr. Snowden had already left for Russia.
Written by rabbitquest
Published | Edited 7th Dec 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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