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Sirens Rose
A beautiful rose
Stood alone in a garden
Her song was sweet but her thorns were poison.
She longed for a being of value
To smell her sweet fragrance
Though when push came to shove,
They all ran from her fierceness
Cowardice men
She could see through.
Spiked, dangerous thorns
Adorn this beautiful rose,
Come to close you will be impaled,
Never touching the beauty
That dwells in her petals
So lovely, so graceful,
All were enamored by her siren's call
Under her spell, they would gladly fall
She would sing so sweetly,
Day after day men would seek her
Castrated by the thorns she bares
Cut to quick, by her wit and honest stare.
She is a beautiful, sweet fragrant rose
Though come to close to her poison
She will steal your soul.
She is an old soul, who has bore much abuse
Her petals so soft, grew armor
To protect her tender heart.
Now no one can harm her
She has set herself
A world apart.
Stood alone in a garden
Her song was sweet but her thorns were poison.
She longed for a being of value
To smell her sweet fragrance
Though when push came to shove,
They all ran from her fierceness
Cowardice men
She could see through.
Spiked, dangerous thorns
Adorn this beautiful rose,
Come to close you will be impaled,
Never touching the beauty
That dwells in her petals
So lovely, so graceful,
All were enamored by her siren's call
Under her spell, they would gladly fall
She would sing so sweetly,
Day after day men would seek her
Castrated by the thorns she bares
Cut to quick, by her wit and honest stare.
She is a beautiful, sweet fragrant rose
Though come to close to her poison
She will steal your soul.
She is an old soul, who has bore much abuse
Her petals so soft, grew armor
To protect her tender heart.
Now no one can harm her
She has set herself
A world apart.
Written by
crimsin
(Unveiling)
Published 1st Feb 2011
| Edited 2nd Feb 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 2
comments 16
reads 1455
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Ok ok!
2nd Feb 2011 00:48am
...You have thrashed the point to death...she is scary, she'll hurt you if you get close...we get it!
You need to either work the point a bit more broadly, or shorten the hell out of this poem.
And then there are the frequent spelling mistakes, which just make a reader think "bugger it, I'll go read something else"...please please look after your reader...
lone
frangrance
Cowardess
pettals
graceful (this is a word to describe movement!)
and on and on and on...
Shorten it, or burn it, or do a lot more reading, because even if you nail it this topic has been done and done and done to death.
You need to either work the point a bit more broadly, or shorten the hell out of this poem.
And then there are the frequent spelling mistakes, which just make a reader think "bugger it, I'll go read something else"...please please look after your reader...
lone
frangrance
Cowardess
pettals
graceful (this is a word to describe movement!)
and on and on and on...
Shorten it, or burn it, or do a lot more reading, because even if you nail it this topic has been done and done and done to death.
1

Hemihead
2nd Feb 2011 2:13am
This was written about someone I don't like and was angry with so I wrote it out at length and fuck the spelling errors..
re: Hemihead
6th Apr 2013 11:05pm
Thank you
2nd Feb 2011 3:34am
nice 1
3rd Feb 2011 9:26am
just gotta say nicepoem. although i agree with crimson i say good job i kno how it feels being the victim of dangerous women. as far as spelling mistakes its alright. not everyone needs to be a professional just express yourself. peace
0

Anonymous
- Edited 8th Jun 2024 1:45am
28th Dec 2014 2:30am
<< post removed >>

re: Re: Sirens Rose
28th Dec 2014 5:34pm
thank you DaddyPhantom this as you know is one of my earlier writes I had come across a female of this type and wrote about it.. you always leave the best comments and I appreciate it sincerely.. with love Crim
Re. Sirens Rose
23rd Oct 2016 8:48pm
Re: Re. Sirens Rose
23rd Oct 2016 9:06pm
lol Poet I now look back at this poem with fondness for the honest critique thank you for the smile :)
love Brenda
love Brenda
Re. Sirens Rose
23rd Jun 2018 3:39pm
''Her petals so soft, grew armor
To protect her tender heart. ''
powerful
''fuck the spelling errors''
i totally get it..
some poems just vomit out the pen
just let it lay as is..
the rawness cuts deepest
in original pure unedited sentiment..
To protect her tender heart. ''
powerful
''fuck the spelling errors''
i totally get it..
some poems just vomit out the pen
just let it lay as is..
the rawness cuts deepest
in original pure unedited sentiment..
1

Re: Re. Sirens Rose
23rd Jun 2018 3:41pm
giggles yeah this write was rough but it was how I felt thank you for digging it :)
love Crim
love Crim
Re. Sirens Rose
12th Feb 2019 2:48am
Full of barby poisonous thorns this and why I always wear shoes and long pants while walking the forests ... Being impaled in a meaningful cause or bonding can also make one immune to poisons both real and imagined ... Bless and love ... nicely expressed ...
1

Re: Re. Sirens Rose
12th Feb 2019 2:58am
Re. Sirens Rose
12th Feb 2019 3:01am
Re: Re. Sirens Rose
12th Feb 2019 3:03am