deepundergroundpoetry.com
Pause
Battered binoculars in my lap
Kitaro by Oasis
(Japan not Manchester)
pages flicked aimlessly
a dictionary of rhymes
Sorrel seeds
in a two ounce jar
which once held Bovril
but fished from a muddy river
in July
Cracks in a cold onyx heart
moulded perfectly into my palm
Ghosts blooming
on the faded picture of Glastonbury Tor
eyes that follow me around
Thin slices of brain
suspended on your screen
while I write for the wind
to discover the truth of my soul
inhaling yesterday's dust
and breathing it out
for nobody
Kitaro by Oasis
(Japan not Manchester)
pages flicked aimlessly
a dictionary of rhymes
Sorrel seeds
in a two ounce jar
which once held Bovril
but fished from a muddy river
in July
Cracks in a cold onyx heart
moulded perfectly into my palm
Ghosts blooming
on the faded picture of Glastonbury Tor
eyes that follow me around
Thin slices of brain
suspended on your screen
while I write for the wind
to discover the truth of my soul
inhaling yesterday's dust
and breathing it out
for nobody
Published 29th Jan 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
29th Jan 2011 1:01pm
a beautiful ending..
"I write for the wind
to discover the truth of my soul
inhaling yesterday's dust
and breathing it out
for nobody".
Those are priceless words indeed.
Great poem.
S
PS - Perhaps some verse breaks to give the poem a better structure? Between lines 5 & 6..and between 12 & 13..maybe? bah - its good enough as it is..and sometimes tinkering can be addictive
"I write for the wind
to discover the truth of my soul
inhaling yesterday's dust
and breathing it out
for nobody".
Those are priceless words indeed.
Great poem.
S
PS - Perhaps some verse breaks to give the poem a better structure? Between lines 5 & 6..and between 12 & 13..maybe? bah - its good enough as it is..and sometimes tinkering can be addictive
29th Jan 2011 2:10pm
You're correct Steven - I've added some line breaks for the sake of clarity. I find that's always a problem with a short write like this.
Appreciate your keen eye.
Best ~ Abra
Anonymous
29th Jan 2011 2:12pm
And maybe this little hyphen?
Cracks in a cold onyx heart
moulded perfectly into my palm -
Ghosts blooming
on the faded picture of Glastonbury Tor
eyes that follow me around
Now, now, we mustn't get carried away. Dashes can be addictive!
Used to work with a woman I called the hyphen queen, she knew all the rules and used them every chance she got. One day she brought me in the draft of her book to look at. Sadly, I found it difficult reading & thought it resembled morse code more than it did literature!
Used to work with a woman I called the hyphen queen, she knew all the rules and used them every chance she got. One day she brought me in the draft of her book to look at. Sadly, I found it difficult reading & thought it resembled morse code more than it did literature!
Anonymous
29th Jan 2011 2:54pm
Yes. Inddeed the correct approach.
We agree then that punctuation and tinkering can be addictive!
lol
S
