Grandstander

Could not know where is the end of road,
i watched night's glow riding in to dawn,
but i was there and i am there,
alone.

Could not know we are so mortal,
maybe that's what i thought,
what is a gift for, if not to devour,
i didn't mean to destroy.

And there it is, the way i remember,
the trees and the lights,
the smiles and the fights,
drunk and sober,
and now i wonder,
what if ? and why ?
but this is life,
so i will wait,
in some other place,
maybe heaven or hell,
where we would not have to fight.

Could not know that i don't know,
wanted more where i had the most,
that's why it feels so empty,
on my "armadillo".

Could not know the truth i saw,
making cuts into stone,
at least this was always,
mine and yours.

And there it is, the way i remember,
the trees and the lights,
the smiles and the fights,
drunk and sober,
and now i wonder,
what if ? and why ?
but this is life,
so i will wait,
in some other place,
maybe heaven or hell,
where we would not have to fight.

I don't even know why,
because now i don't understand,
the versions of me that were here before,
and i hate their words,
detest their acts,
i wish there would be time,
i wouldn't have to write a fucking song,
about how stupid my minds are.