Broken- A revised write

Crim,

A beautiful, vulnerable write!

tornado

thank you Tornado :) much love Crim

still devestatingly beautiful Brenda. Loved the previous version too.

thank you Mia for the beautiful comment.. I deleted the first version out of fear of being to vulnerable.. thank you for commenting again on this rewritten version you always touch my heart with your visits.. much love Brenda :)

Hello, Brenda Heart........vulnerability is a tenderness that unassurredly smiles its needs....tolerance and insecurity....the wisdom of intimacy...reach out...

thank you Turtle for the tender comment making me smile :) peace Brenda

Your tender heart, broken
leaves the tears in my throat chokin'
Deeply mournful my friend

thank you for the love Poe.. touching my heart.. much love Crim :)

Not sure which one I like better, this one or the previous version. A very beautiful expression of pain in these words especially :
" though my wings
are heavy with pain
no you won't see

any tears stain this face
I hold myself tightly
while inside I weep"

Quite profound, DUP should be honored to have a brilliant mind such as yourself.

Regards,
Sir

Beautiful expression of pain and suffering.  Perhaps even better than the first version.  Well done

thank you Sir you've really touched my heart with you generous comments i'm quite humbled by them both..beautifully kind.. making me smile :) much love Crim

Well, I tend to give respect where it is due. ;)
And the second comment was sort of a fluke.lol
I thought somehow it messed up when I posted. Chalk it up to various chemical imbalances,I suppose. Anyways, you never fail to amaze me with your work.


Much respect,
Sir

I can relate to the chemical imbalances I have them too being bipolar but it make for some great artistic poetry in you.. thank you again Sir :) much love Crim

Dear crim,
I'm really amazed by this write..really dark and damp. like your emotional output.. I also love the way u have presented it ,the three lines stanza looks good .. I kinda find it difficult to write in stanzas tho..

the first two stanzas had some really thought provoking imagery.. and the next stanza to adds up to ur helplessness .. alcohols dnt work no more ..its sad, but writing does I'm sure.. lol

keep Rollin

cyanide..

thank you Cyanide for your thoughtful and insightful comment.. put a smile on my face :) much love Crim

ever the emotional Poet; you know how to touch us, Crim. keep your armor polished...

Polishing my armor as we speak John :) thank you for you visit putting a smile on my face.. peace Crim

Oh My! Crim-iny my tender friend this is such a poignant painful mourning. I'm one who invests deeply in friendships, no holds barred, hope, trust, love and fathomless support. So when/if it ends I'm sickened, lost, crushed for too long.
I also try to dress in the armor of nonchalance and indignation but the hurt affirms the truth at some point. :(
I'm sorry I haven't read the previous version, I will :)

thank you for such a heartfelt kind comment I deleted the first version Tom for fear of seeming to vulnerable then rewrote it from memory thus this write.. thank you again kind heart.. much love Crim :)

Wrapping yourself deep inside, but still you carry it with you. It does lessen over time, until one day you find you can let it go.

thank you Petit for such tender advise :) much love Crim

I'm sure I've said it before Ms Crim. Your strength in susceptibility astounds me. Soft and strong make great quality neighbours. I believe this. Thank you Miss C.

thank you Twitch I miss you with love Crim :)