Used To Be.

 I'm chasing a tail,
Not even mine.
Going in circles.
Hour after day,
Day after hour.
I can see the outline of the exit.
It's out of reach,
Jump over the bodies full of bullshit.
Feel the wanting,
The greedy hands yanking and holding me down.
Back.
Away from the happiness too long,
It does exist?
As my eyes explore the red haze;
I don't remember what it feels like to smile.
To cry;
Unable to breathe with these restrictions,
Tight and binding.
But my hand is stretched,
I want what used to be.
What I used to be..