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Night whisperer
[i]..a little awkward maybe yes, but isn't that part of it all
you know, the knee jerk stumble just before falling over
or is it floating.. because, forgive me
Behold the night, she said
it may be cold, but there's magic here
all you have to do is believe
then she beckoned him towards some pine trees
she stood
against the backdrop of moonbeams
that steered their way through the branches
just to drench her, luminous
and she smiled
with such ease and compassion
that he'd have easily
followed her into the eye of a flame
confident that the heat
would stand down
behold the night, she said
the possibilities are all but endless
just like the cosmos that guides us
all you have to do
is believe
he wanted desperately
to say words
you know, the knee jerk stumble just before falling over
or is it floating.. because, forgive me
Behold the night, she said
it may be cold, but there's magic here
all you have to do is believe
then she beckoned him towards some pine trees
she stood
against the backdrop of moonbeams
that steered their way through the branches
just to drench her, luminous
and she smiled
with such ease and compassion
that he'd have easily
followed her into the eye of a flame
confident that the heat
would stand down
behold the night, she said
the possibilities are all but endless
just like the cosmos that guides us
all you have to do
is believe
he wanted desperately
to say words
Written by
lepperochan
(Craic-Dealer)
Published 20th Nov 2013
| Edited 18th Mar 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 23
reading list entries 6
comments 43
reads 1424
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Night whisperer
Anonymous
20th Nov 2013 3:31am
Belief in what can be ... sometimes all that's needed and yet so hard to find the one that knows your soul.
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 3:36am
Petit one
belief yes, a powerful attribute for any person. I've always been of the mind that a soul mate finds us. well we find each other, it's a two way thing
thank you kindly dear lady for your visit and thoughts
belief yes, a powerful attribute for any person. I've always been of the mind that a soul mate finds us. well we find each other, it's a two way thing
thank you kindly dear lady for your visit and thoughts
re: re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 3:54am
re: re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 8:51pm
Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 3:56am
A beautiful whisper you've written....
Really love the first stanza;
Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.....Xo
Pen On~
Really love the first stanza;
Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.....Xo
Pen On~
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 4:17am
Rain
very kind of you to say, dear Lady. I'm happy you agree and happy you dropped by and left your words
thank you
very kind of you to say, dear Lady. I'm happy you agree and happy you dropped by and left your words
thank you
Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 4:10am
A beautiful picture painted with your words, the magic of two souls uniting..
all you have to do is believe
all you have to do is believe
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 4:29am
ahh Jeje
the page was never really blank from the start, all I did was allow the words to be seen.
magic, is by definition magical. belief comes easy in the face of that.
I thank you, for the visit, the words, and everything else you've given
the page was never really blank from the start, all I did was allow the words to be seen.
magic, is by definition magical. belief comes easy in the face of that.
I thank you, for the visit, the words, and everything else you've given
Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 4:25am
I've been fortunate enough to watch odd rhythms in life connect and make sense in cosmic patterns, very odd but comforting how- these i believe may have been foundations for world religions along side cataclysmic goings on-Touching Write Lepp.!!!
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 4:33am
soul
cheers man, yeah you definitely have something there. I'm of the mind that we've all got some stardust in us that connects us to the cosmos
delighted to see you drop by good sit, thank you
cheers man, yeah you definitely have something there. I'm of the mind that we've all got some stardust in us that connects us to the cosmos
delighted to see you drop by good sit, thank you
Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 4:52am
Oh and poems like these. On nights I can't sleep or am at work. Are why I return to this place. Everything about this poem is beautiful ! Love it xoxo CZ
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 4:55am
Gigi me ol' flower
good to see you back in this arena and dropping into my humble abode to read and leave your footprint
thank you kindly dear
good to see you back in this arena and dropping into my humble abode to read and leave your footprint
thank you kindly dear
Re: Night whisperer
Anonymous
20th Nov 2013 1:39pm
A couple of suggestions: remove "beautiful" from L1 of S3, as it's a bit tell-not-show, and remove S4 for the same reason. She'll be more mysterious if she says less. These are merely suggestions, of course, proceeding from my own sense of aesthetics. Otherwise I loved this poem. It's like a modern free verse version of Byron's "She Walks in Beauty", capturing a certain erotic mysticism and natural beauty.
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 8:50pm
BrownJenkin
welcome to this place
I dropped the beautiful for the reason you suggested and also I s'pose it should be apparent anyway, so the word was redundant.
yeah, looking at stanza four now, it's definitely one to be cut. maybe replaced, maybe not
I haven't read a huge amount of Byron, but have read She walks in beauty and heard a spoken rendition, liked it a lot
anyhow, good sir, thanks much for dropping by and for your in-depth-ness
welcome to this place
I dropped the beautiful for the reason you suggested and also I s'pose it should be apparent anyway, so the word was redundant.
yeah, looking at stanza four now, it's definitely one to be cut. maybe replaced, maybe not
I haven't read a huge amount of Byron, but have read She walks in beauty and heard a spoken rendition, liked it a lot
anyhow, good sir, thanks much for dropping by and for your in-depth-ness
Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 2:53pm
this is so necessary...so straight forward, and steeped in getting wrapped in its own mystique, but not self conscious...the fool in love
hard to keep this honest. but you do. and its awful f'n pretty man...cheers!
hard to keep this honest. but you do. and its awful f'n pretty man...cheers!
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 9:09pm
lightbaron
thanks for dropping by, man
It's been a while since I tried to tackle a decent love poem, so It's nice to feel that there's something here that speaks.
I'm happy you liked this LB, given your talent for the genre.
thanks again, cheers, man
thanks for dropping by, man
It's been a while since I tried to tackle a decent love poem, so It's nice to feel that there's something here that speaks.
I'm happy you liked this LB, given your talent for the genre.
thanks again, cheers, man
Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 2:57pm
this is so romantic Craic I love this.. I would have to quote the whole poem to say what I loved most.. it's magical and ever so beautiful!!! much love Crim
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 9:15pm
crims
good to see you here, ahh romance ..y'gotto love it
thank you kindly for the words Miss, it's always nice to have them
good to see you here, ahh romance ..y'gotto love it
thank you kindly for the words Miss, it's always nice to have them
Re: Night whisperer
Anonymous
20th Nov 2013 4:16pm
Oh my goodness, this is so beautiful and magical, took my breath away Craic!!
I love the delicacy and soft lines of the poem, im mesmerized by the beauty of it.
I love the delicacy and soft lines of the poem, im mesmerized by the beauty of it.
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
20th Nov 2013 9:23pm
Vee
haha, you big softy ..I jest. thanks, so sorry for stealing your breath, sweet as it was, you'll be needing it to live
you're very kind Vee, thanks for dropping in and leaving your thoughts
haha, you big softy ..I jest. thanks, so sorry for stealing your breath, sweet as it was, you'll be needing it to live
you're very kind Vee, thanks for dropping in and leaving your thoughts
Re: Night whisperer
21st Nov 2013 5:38am
AHhhhhh...this piece has such an enchanting quality--like a spell, it curls around the reader like smoke, before settling in...before drawing the reader into the mystical.
Through your vivid imagery, I imagine a 'forbidden love' between a wood nymph, and a mortal....but with that magical bonding that occurs when two connect--heart to heart, soul to soul. (Anam Cara)
Ever so lovely!
Through your vivid imagery, I imagine a 'forbidden love' between a wood nymph, and a mortal....but with that magical bonding that occurs when two connect--heart to heart, soul to soul. (Anam Cara)
Ever so lovely!
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
21st Nov 2013 6:10am
DarkEnchantress, Dia duit, conas atá tú?
Happy you like this Miss, you paint a lovely image yourself, what with the enchantment curling around readers like smoke
delighted to have you drop by and leave your thoughts, mo chara
thank you kindly
Happy you like this Miss, you paint a lovely image yourself, what with the enchantment curling around readers like smoke
delighted to have you drop by and leave your thoughts, mo chara
thank you kindly
re: re: Re: Night whisperer
22nd Nov 2013 8:15pm
You are most welcome, mo chara--to be certain!
Returning my thanks, to you as well, for your generous compliment!
Returning my thanks, to you as well, for your generous compliment!
1
Re: Night whisperer
21st Nov 2013 2:11pm
a great "Aha!" po'em.
jeez, I get dizzy scrolling down the comment roll to find a place to write something to admired writers....
woe is me! yknow?
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
24th Nov 2013 3:13am
Danny bhoy
thanks for the dropping by and leaving of your thoughts my good man
best advice I can give about the scrolling is hijack the first comment :)
thanks for the dropping by and leaving of your thoughts my good man
best advice I can give about the scrolling is hijack the first comment :)
Re: Night whisperer
23rd Nov 2013 4:55am
If woe is Danny then who am I?
Maybe it's just my mindset, but it seems there's a bit of sadness and longing in there somewhere.
Maybe it's just my mindset, but it seems there's a bit of sadness and longing in there somewhere.
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
24th Nov 2013 3:19am
DystopianMelody
why, you're the melody maker, disguised as camp batman, you write poetry and fight bat crime, tha's who you are
thanks for abseiling in and leaving your thoughts, man
why, you're the melody maker, disguised as camp batman, you write poetry and fight bat crime, tha's who you are
thanks for abseiling in and leaving your thoughts, man
re: Re: Night whisperer
24th Nov 2013 3:52pm
too broken to be that quick.....
no one has that problem wit my massive missives o, so
missed......
che'ears, daddyo
no one has that problem wit my massive missives o, so
missed......
che'ears, daddyo
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
24th Nov 2013 3:57pm
sadness?
longing?
in there?
somewhere?
Alas! tis everywhere!
Everybody! Dance!
longing?
in there?
somewhere?
Alas! tis everywhere!
Everybody! Dance!
1
re: re: Re: Night whisperer
25th Nov 2013 3:17am
haha, we see what we're looking for Danny Bhoy
careful what you wish for
but dance anyway, dancing is good :)
careful what you wish for
but dance anyway, dancing is good :)
Re: Night whisperer
24th Nov 2013 4:00pm
there's a christmas-y feeling to it!
You never spoil us with love poems. You should do it more often!
You never spoil us with love poems. You should do it more often!
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
25th Nov 2013 3:21am
haha, Ophie just for that I might just spoil you with love poems. must be the pine trees and the cold has you all Christmas-ee
thank you kindly for popping in dear Lady, and for the leaving of your thoughts
thank you kindly for popping in dear Lady, and for the leaving of your thoughts
Re: Night whisperer
28th Nov 2013 8:01am
My cynical self has seen too many movie spoofs where "she placed a finger on his lips and whispered Shhhh", so that ending somewhat killed the mood.
That aside, the mood prior was created with this bit of magic: "she smiled with such ease and compassion that he'd have easily followed her into the eye of a flame confident that the heat would stand down". You romantic devil, you :-)
That aside, the mood prior was created with this bit of magic: "she smiled with such ease and compassion that he'd have easily followed her into the eye of a flame confident that the heat would stand down". You romantic devil, you :-)
1
re: Re: Night whisperer
1st Dec 2013 11:24pm
Kaatho
your cynical self has had me thinking about that ending for a couple of days now. you are right of course, it's kind of shamefully cliche
I'm trying to come up with a less traveled ending that might say something similar.
I thank you kind Lady for dropping by and leaving your thoughts, encouragement and insulting me with words like 'you romantic devil'
shine on dear Lady
your cynical self has had me thinking about that ending for a couple of days now. you are right of course, it's kind of shamefully cliche
I'm trying to come up with a less traveled ending that might say something similar.
I thank you kind Lady for dropping by and leaving your thoughts, encouragement and insulting me with words like 'you romantic devil'
shine on dear Lady
Re: Night whisperer
29th Dec 2013 2:18pm
re: Re: Night whisperer
29th Dec 2013 3:15pm
Damn good to see you here Tommie, and thank you much for making the time for such a trip, and for leaving your thought-print, much appreciated:).
Re. Night whisperer
30th Nov 2015 00:38am
Such a beautiful and breath taking poem you made here.
I loved it very much
I loved it very much
1
Re: Re. Night whisperer
30th Nov 2015 1:56am
thank you most kindly for dropping by, miss Jackson. and for leaving your thoughts, which give the poem an added strength
Re. Night whisperer
30th May 2016 7:57am
she stood
against canvas of moonbeams
that danced through branches
soaked in luminescence
and smiled......
just me own thoughts..."steered" line for me is a kinda ugly line
wonderful imagery tho and really strong ending
loved this :)
against canvas of moonbeams
that danced through branches
soaked in luminescence
and smiled......
just me own thoughts..."steered" line for me is a kinda ugly line
wonderful imagery tho and really strong ending
loved this :)
1
Re: Re. Night whisperer
30th May 2016 6:21pm
Hullo
I see exactly what you mean. ..cattle are steered, moonbeams kinda float. I'll have to think of something more fitting. could take an hour or a day, but I'll get there
many thanks to you for dropping by and leaving your thoughts
I see exactly what you mean. ..cattle are steered, moonbeams kinda float. I'll have to think of something more fitting. could take an hour or a day, but I'll get there
many thanks to you for dropping by and leaving your thoughts
Re. Night whisperer
Anonymous
24th Mar 2020 6:51pm
Very beautiful imagery. I love how you describe the night and interaction, it is quite magical.
1
Re: Re. Night whisperer
28th Mar 2020 5:43pm
Hullo, sorry I missed your comment
jaysus, this takes me back. thank you, I like this one haha
thanks heaps, lady
*hat tip*
jaysus, this takes me back. thank you, I like this one haha
thanks heaps, lady
*hat tip*