"The Clencher."

So my wife walks-up/or what they  
say to be,

"Politically Correct,"  
now; "Significant Other."  

But, "Fuck that," I'm an individual  
and can think for myself.  
 
So my wife walks up to me and says,  
"Baby, I'm hurting. My body aches.  
From the top all the way to my feet  
 
What's wrong?"  
 
And me, being the Man that I am,  
 
(Comes easy to do it so well),  
takes her into my arms and says,  
 
"It'll be Ok," You're sick right  
now with a virus, your arms are  
not feeling alright or your chest  
or your legs, neither is your head  
right, right now."  
 
And she slapped me on the arm,  
(my good one)
 
And I was like, "What?" And then she  
said, "I'll give you," to which I  
quickly and advantageously interrupted  
and interjected with, "Head?" And that  
there was the clencher
 
Moral of the story: No matter how sincere  
or how slick you try to say it, something  
effed-up usually still doesn't come across  
the right way but with just the rightly  
placed sexual-innuendo, everythings alright