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Words hurt so much and scar so deep.

Why must they throw out the names
Why must they say I'm a freak
This if for the ninth time today
The thousandth time this week
So what if I am different
My heart is true
I may have my demons
But my angels shine through
I do not fight back
If you strike me
I will not attack
I have been trampled and torn
I have been battered and worn
What is a life where all you feel is pain
What is a world when it is always filled with rain
What is the breaking point
Where is the lights
Why do others allow this
Why must the teacher turn their back
I sat on the counter in my kitchen with a knife
Tears in my eyes as I contemplate taking my life
I have done this many a times
My world is shaking
As my mind is filled with blurred lines
What is this magnet that brings this torture
Some of it is sweet
Most of it is cruel
I once found a razor blade
In my bag at school
It was like the world wanted me to go
Wanted me to stop
My words are sad
Just like my memories
There is no kindness
Everything has gone bad
Food I do not want
Because if I partake of it that's a weakness the bullies will flaunt
I feel abused
My mind is used
My pencil still writes strong
It writes my pain through stories,poetry,and song
The paper is filled with words I dare say
Parts of my soul are killed
A little more each day
This poem is long
I know it takes time to read
But if I keep all of this in my feelings will recede
I once felt love
Now all I'm left with is pain
I have lost almost all feelings
There is no fun in this game
What do they receive
What is there to gain
For taking one single girl
And drowning her in rain
The sarcasm burns holes in my brain
This always happens
It's always the same
Anemic
Anorexic
Bulimic
Depressive
My mind has changed
My heart has too
It's shrouded in darkness and ice
With no light to shine through
I can't help but to cry
I have never wanted this badly to die
I am not scared of suicide
I am just scared to try
No kind words can reach me
I won't let them in
No body gets close to me
Not even a friend
You say you understand
But you can't
You see we are two different people
There's your demons
And there's the demons haunting me
Insomnia
Paranoia
Anxiety
Panic
Depression that's manic
Lost souls
Both young and old
Have abandoned this world
Where all we feel is cold
Look at that girl
She slit her own wrist
You betrayed her with a Judas-like kiss
Look at the boy who splattered his brains on the wall
You used to see him walk down the halls
Look at the man who died by the rope
It only would have taken a second to give this man hope
Look at the lady who swallowed all of the pills
Was it all worth it
The laughter and the trills
Where are the teachers
Why won't they intervene
Where is the kindness that child had seen
Are they scared themselves
What have they to lose
They could have saved a life
Now all that's left are those child's empty shoes
Why are the parents oblivious
Why must the not notice the lies we make
The disguises we take
To mask the feelings we hide
Which turn and toil
Bubble and boil inside
They fell for the lies about the scars on my body
I didn't mind as long as I didn't get caught
For in my home
We were always taught to act normal
Taught to be drones
They drilled and drilled it
Until it hardened our bones
But that strength faded
And now we are jaded
The drunkard and the suicidal
Oh my what a pair
It's hard to imagine
These were the kids they did bare
These names on my skin
Shine bright with blood reveling my internal sin
Are wounds from a long war
A war I cannot win
Hurtful names like idiot and whore
I have revealed quite enough
I think I am through
I hope this isn't the last poem I'll write for you
If so then let me leave you with some things
Think before you turn your back
Because the loneliness hurts way more than it seems
How would you feel if you child came home to you in tears
What would you do if you have closed off your ears
When that child is always fighting to control their own fears
What would you do if they refused to eat
Because if they did their heart would be beat
What would you do if you watched your baby die
Or take their last breath
Remove the mask
And die
How would you feel if they laid them six feet below
When the kept things hidden
Some things you should know
NicoletteNightmare
Written by NicoletteNightmare
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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