Rock Bottom Fantasy II

 
 
Rock Bottom Fantasy II  
 






 
 



I lay and I sigh whilst flicking through old photographs  
of you,  
what did we do? 
How would it feel having you lie next to me? 
Though we lie  
and we change  
and everything can erase  
that  
feeling  
that I felt  
when I was only seventeen.  
"Some serious fucking issues..."  
At a  
train  
in the rain  
I watch you slip away  
with a kiss  
on the  
cheek  
you're leaving me again.  
We are not  
ones in love  
though a sister  
I haven't got  
I have a personality  
split in two.  
It was more than you could  
cope  
with.  
So I sit  
and I wait  
and the cars in the lot  
rearrange.  
I hear  
you're coming home,  
my ex-fiance,  
my best  
friend.  
I think  
about you,  
about the kid we almost put through  
my  
sickness,  
my 'serious issues',  
how could we get through this?  
I'm  
tired,  
I'm so tired.  
The bed is still made up on your side  
and it  
moves -  
I feel it move,  
I haven't moved for days.  
So I smile,  
I  
let  
the memories wash over me.  
It's not you,   
it's my mum,  
just come  
to check and see  
my sanity.  
My insanity.  
She came to move two more  
empty bottles of wine  
from my side,  
from where I cried  
when our baby  
fell out of me.  
Cold and wet,  
my regret,  
and you left on the next days  
train  
it's not the same,  
my bereft shame  
the guilty party is not only  
me.  
In my wedding dress,  
I lay,  
both parts of me love you through  
it.  
We're not the same,  
in my shame,  
one half wants to die and another  
wants to see you grieve.  
We conceived, you and I,  
an idea that died in  
me  
and you just left.  
"No  
regrets."  
The broken couple, two parts of me.  
How could you say  
that to me?  
"You have some serious  
fucking issues..."