deepundergroundpoetry.com
Building Up To the Breakdown
Feel it building up inside,
Building up in time
To break it back down,
To let it just drown
In the blood it's bled out
In the world it's come to doubt
Existed in the least,
Except upon a leash
Broken, twisted, useless,
Letting it run clueless
Into every turn that's there,
With every tooth now bared,
Ready to take a bite
Out of anyone who might
Think he's standing tall,
Now just watch him fall.
Building up in time
To break it back down,
To let it just drown
In the blood it's bled out
In the world it's come to doubt
Existed in the least,
Except upon a leash
Broken, twisted, useless,
Letting it run clueless
Into every turn that's there,
With every tooth now bared,
Ready to take a bite
Out of anyone who might
Think he's standing tall,
Now just watch him fall.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 10
reads 857
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Building Up To the Breakdown
8th Nov 2013 11:19pm
Please, I beg of you only one thing: you took the time to read this, please comment on it! lol
No, really. You should comment.
No, really. You should comment.
Re: Building Up To the Breakdown
9th Nov 2013 2:44am
I do like it, partly because I had a similar frame of thought, and pattern recenty. You said it better. Well done-keep it up.
1
re: Re: Building Up To the Breakdown
27th Nov 2013 10:07pm
Well thank you. I actually wrote this as an entry to a school poetry portfolio earlier this year, so if anyone is reading this and thinks they recognize it, that's why. ;)
Re: Building Up To the Breakdown
10th Nov 2013 1:45am
I relate to this piece very much. Mine is rage. Always there whether it is on the surface or right under my skin ready to erupt at any given moment. Well said. I loved it.
1
re: Re: Building Up To the Breakdown
27th Nov 2013 10:08pm
Thanks guys for the positive feedback. I'm always glad to hear that I'm not the only person with emotions in this world.
Re: Building Up To the Breakdown
10th Nov 2013 5:56am
I like your style and the way it flows. halting at times but not overtly so. very nice
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re: Re: Building Up To the Breakdown
27th Nov 2013 10:10pm
And I appreciate your more academic review. It's nice to have a variety of comments, some pertaining to enjoyment and others pertaining to the literary quality, and you granted this page just that.
Re: Building Up To the Breakdown
27th Nov 2013 10:10pm
Re: Building Up To the Breakdown
6th Aug 2014 00:15am
Went over this again and I like it even more. It's amazing how something can seem deeper when read again, long after the initial read. Deeper and full of meaning I hadn't seen before
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