Watching you watching me

Curious, creeping sensations of

Someone watching me unaware

Sweeping the crowd with a glance

Our eyes meet and worlds collide

My present, in a split second, comes

Crashing into my heartbroken past

Once upon a time, young love flowed

Grown from a close, tight friendship

A boy who licked my face just to hear

Peals of rare laughter ring from me

Passionate feelings, love is now hate

Apologies remain unaccepted now

Offering a token broken smile that is

Met with an stony, icy cold blue glare

Stuttering so many sorrowful sorries 

Defiant, today, I will not utter a word

I have carried the burden of my guilt 

Until I have made myself physically ill

Imperfect love I once offered you

Today I give you the fuck I don’t give

I want to say fuck this, it and you but

Soul sick and resplendently regretful

I just whispered I’m sorry
JR