liar

I can't do this anymore,
It hurts too much.
Let me GO!
I thought I could do it
but I can't not anymore,
I am so sick of lying about
whats really going on that I could puke.
Shadows draw in around me.
I feel as though I am being suffocated,
Let me feel something.
Let me go far away from all this!
I am being drained each
and every day, I want
so badly to just quit.
Give up and give in to the desire
to end it all in one stroke.
I cannot handle this anymore,
I want it to al go the Fuck away!
this pain tht burns deep inside me numbs me compleatly,
not just emotionally but physically too.
I want to just lay down and cut myself wide open.
Watch the torrent of blood that will well up
and flow over my wrist onto the white sheets.
I want it all to be over now.
But tomorrow I will get up,
Put on my PT's go out and start my day all over again.
Work out at five in the morning
then sit in a chair all damn day wishing,
that I could end it all.
Praying that maybe I can just find that sweet relese
that I once felt so long ago.