The Man I almost never knew

They say I look just like him.
The man who turned 30 years old
just days before he was found
in an abandoned apartment building.
They estimated he died right around
his birthday.
An apparent drug overdose of Heroin.
He was found with a needle in
his arm.
His lips were blue, his eyes sunk in
and skin yellow.
The stench was unbelievable.
2,105 miles away from home.
His hometown, Montague Michigan
where he died, San Diego California.
No one had heard from him in weeks.
After he died, they went up into the
attic of the same room that I grew up
in.
They found 10 ounces of smoke
and bags of Heroin hidden every where.
He must have been so high he forgot
where he'd put them. Otherwise, I'm
sure they wouldn't of been there.
Dirty syringes and mason jars full
of regurgitation fluids, urine and
feces.
He was too afraid to confront his mom
and afraid she'd know. Like she
already didn't. She just didn't want to
admit it.

When I was little, I was happy knowing
that I looked like him. A good looking
strawberry blonde man. A great man.
He loved me so much, he was wonderful
but he had this problem that made him
stray from every one that he loved. He was
too ashamed to stay in contact and feared
they would force him to get help because
he wasn't ready.
I wish he would have been. Supposedly, he
was coming home and tired of the lifestyle he
was living.
He had a son and a beautiful wife named Jennifer.
His son is a heroin addict and doesn't associate
with our family. Jennifer passed away not
too long after she had him due to an overdose
of Morphine.

in less than a year I'll be thirty.
I wish I didn't look like him now.
I wish I never knew....and I wish
I'd never followed in his foot steps.
Oblivious, I was...now I know the
story years after it happened.
I visited his grave today, got on my
knees and cried my eyes out.
I miss the man I hardly knew and
apologized to him for letting him down.

My uncle Jimmy, my mom's best friend
and a man known and liked by every one
wasted his life on Heroin and here I am
following his true love...the beautiful brown.
Fucking wonderful. Ironic, isn't it?