Trapped Within My Mind

pardon me while I have a nervous breakdown
she says to herself
something has to break this pressure
I’ve simply had enough

as a single tears creeps from her eye
a smirk of madness graces her lips
she feels the insanity creeping in
as it tickles her fingertips

maybe I should try to write
it often seems to helps

but she knows that on this night
she will drag herself through hell
her words like razors slash and slice
leaving open wounds to bleed
cancer spills out everywhere
as the words she writes they read

of all the years I’ve picked out thorns
still some remain
how much longer with they adorn
the thoughts within my brain

behind her eyes the pressure builds
as though it might explode
she must find a way to distract herself
and let the memories go

of all of the words I’ve written down
in structure verse and rhyme
I still cringe at the sound
of tear drops as I type

her stinging eyes wet with tears
as she struggles for the words
to purge the pain and the fears
in hopes it won’t get worse
but time not now nor has it ever
been a friend to her
she knows that this may last forever
and fester deep within

how can I kill this misery
and live a normal life
put an end to this disparity
and finally dry my eyes

another fracture graces her heart
as thorns sink into her brain
how many more until it rips apart

how much further till I go insane

she loses herself in listless thought
memories swirl in and out
she becomes crippled and distraught
and riddled with self doubt
a broken wretch she has become
a self loathing twisted mess
losing a war that cannot be won
a fight she cannot transgress

I try so hard to win this fight
but I can never get ahead
trapped within my own mind
I try desperately to escape