I Bleed, You Flee

Some days I could tell you more about the cement than the people i see
More about the alleys than the buildings in between
Tripping on the cracks that I can see coming but my depth perception looks past
Thinking they mean nothing
But the dirt encrusted gaps must mean something
A disrupted balance to the equilibrium that's finally worn down and begun to fade

My stumble goes unnoticed on this near conscious deserted road
Because everyone with eyes is looking away
Like they're allergic to the rosy blush blooming on my face
My footsteps sound like the incoherent babbles that sometimes spill into the empty conversation
Only to be covered up by the carbon dioxide those strangers are exhaling
Multitasking with the slight nod in my direction as their thumb scrolls up the news feed
Those highlight reels must be more interesting
They don't bother to look me in the eyes so they don't notice when I look down

For the hundredth time

In this monotone conversation
So maybe I'll just clench my hands and squeeze real tight
Like maybe my fist will turn into a billboard sign that they at least acknowledge or look at the lines
That were printed with brash timing but impeccable style
Something to make them crack a smile to look up from their utopian screens

Fucking look

Look at this person that's me underneath the cover of sweet
Eyes that lie but no detectives are looking for the truth
And when all my petty lines I've memorized are used

That's when I stumble

I open my mouth to say something real but the physical world seems to want to stop any justification for why we're all not perfect
Like a mistake has only been made by those who get caught

Head phones on, make the music louder and louder
Where I can feel the singer's agony instead of my own
Because he's sang this song a hundred times before opening his lungs to a dead microphone
After realizing the only ones around who he thought would listen had their ears closed
Because every heart can only seem to shelter one broken soul
And that broken soul is almost always their own

So instead of sinking into the cracks  I just keep my head down
Hoping the next time I look up I'll meet someone's eyes and I won't have to continue the "Hi, how are yous"
Maybe instead they'll warn me of that concavity in the fabric that's coming

Maybe that sentence will stop me from
Tripping on my past
And mistrusting the present
When I
Don't
Care
About the future

Maybe they'll make me a little louder
A little l o o s e r

So I'll wait as the cracks keep coming my way
Praying to some God that someone will stop
And whisper in the gentlest hush
"Eve[/font]n though I saw you stumble,
It'll be ok"[/font]