Lilian

You come to me like a warm breeze in the icy winter.
And, what a winter I have made for this, O' mortal coil.
Now upon me do I hear the bells into this ashen time?
Upon me! I swear I did not falter to hear the angelic jingle of bells.
Upon me! Of such bells, such as I heard, to cause this warmth into my bruised chest.
Upon me! O' woe upon me, if such honey sounds prove false to my hopeful ears.
What meaning shall I succumb then, to have proven so wrong in this song to have pierced through my chest?
What upon your word would you find in such fallen hope?
How upon your life would you sum up the sheer feeling of joy to suddenly fade from perspective like a rose withering in this my winter?
A life time of rose petals burned in winters grasp.
But what of the bells out in this blanket of snow?
Out in this frigid wasteland, where every fallen footstep is counted for, for a time.
You come to me! You come to me! Now but why do you run from me and lead me out into the wide open emptiness.
Shall I recount the passing seasons in this dead zone?
O' now shall I forsworn the bitter fallen snow.

As I lead on without will or reason to the phantasm of my dearly departed love.
By what witching fugue or supernatural power have I spied you again.
Where first I found horror and hope to see you outside my bedroom window beckoning me onward.
Now I begin to question my sanity at this fallacy.
By what want of what god, to be so cruel a temptress of the dead.
What shepherd becomes a necromancer?
What trick is this to see, my Lilian, in all her former substance, to run before me with a smile just out of reach.
Why do I follow on to some destination of eldritch doom.
O' but my lovely lost Lilian.
How but for a moment I would hold you in my arms.
No more do the twists and turns prevent my squinted eyes from seeing you, and on you run ahead of me, bare foot in the snow.
This pounding chest is heavy in sight of your supple back and crystalline tears begin to slip down my cheeks.
What is the sanguine dress you bare?
On what face of the Earth do you lead me?
Why do you seek to the trees now?
My legs grow weary and I can feel them faltering.
I must push on for just one more moment with you, just one more time, just once more for the roses that wither too soon.

I follow further and shout out, "Wait!" It is then my lungs begin to seize.
But into the dark forest you plunge.
Well I have come too far in my frenzy now!
Whatever enchantment I have found, let it not falter before I reach you.
Then into the forest I found myself.
Into the dead silence, I saw you not.
Somewhere between rage and anxiety  I found myself.
With what well of energy I had I scattered into the roil of my lovely Lilian.
Tears are becoming my only salvation for my lost love.
In the final exhaustion I let loose a mad bellow of, "Where are you?"
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence to my reunion.
Silence to my thoughts.
Terrible, dreadful, silence upon me.
What of this!
What to be!
Why to this hopeless adventure.
I fell to my knees, hopeless, silent, alone.

Then came the snow.

Then I looked up and saw your face.
Only...this dress you wear is proven false.
Blood....
Blood....
Decay and blood....
Your face is marred.
Feelings of love fester into revulsion.
The horror!
The horror!
The horror!
Her broken jaw opens and ripped flesh contorts, "You betrayed me."
"No! No! You died! I had to move on."
"You betrayed me!" She says in a deeper more sinister whisper.
Oh my god!
No!
No!
Abomination!
Upon me! Doom! Doom! Doom upon me!
....