Shiver

In an inn, in a woods, in a European past                
Lived a killer of a lady and a floosy of a lass.          
         
Her space was well and ways away from any form of settlement.                
No towns nearby, but quite established, in clearing for a residence.                
It was far along a trail from where the peddlers hailed their shipments,               
And often stopped on in to have some comfort from the missus.                
               
She'd bring them ale and on the side, a serving of her classic pies,                
With claims they're made from wild game, worth a killing (not a lie).                
"No way!", they'd claim, "it's just too good!", impress-ed by her skill,                
While being none the wiser it were they she'd plan to kill.                
               
By evening after eating, as the men would feel relaxed,                
She'd offer them her room and lap, in exchange of service tax.          
Led and laid upon her bed, they'd wait till she was ready,          
To bring a batch of brandy with the flowers from her levee.                
               
Through the night she'd serve the suitors to a banquet's worth of brew,                
Until they laid complaining that they couldn't stand or move.                
Reveling, and face to face, she watched them beg and cry,                
Assured she were the final thing to see before they died.                 
               
Though fresher kills were better, all would wind up in the cellar,                
Hacked of all their limbs; oh how her work was truly stellar.                
She'd take the meat to piece and meal, by grill or bake or boil,                
And ground the bones to dust and fluff as fertilizing soil.                
               
Cooked and weighed, she'd serve the plates to traders on the trail,                
Free to fools unfortunate enough to buy her ale.          
For decades this continued till the day she died of laughter,          
Convulsing on the ground in what was 'happily ever after'.