Denial

These days are getting longer and harder to handle. The piercing screams in my mind get louder and scarier by the day. My bones more brittle, my smile more faded. I try not to eat, I get so hungry. I try to stay away, I get so lonely. I try not to lie, but stories have happier endings. The scars are fading, I wish to reopen them. But I can't. I promised everyone I wouldn't. I try to sleep off the bad thoughts, but all I get are nightmares. There is no release, the stress continues  building inside. Maybe someday someone will care, they say they already do. Why don't I believe them? Why can't I be around people without getting nervous? Nobody understands, I try my best to tell them. But how can I when I don't know what's wrong...