The End [Part One.]

A nice mixing of philosophical, religious and romantic themes here. It reminds me a touch of how Ted Hughes used religion in some of his Crow poems. It feels slightly incomplete, but then that's probably because it's just "part one"! The "marble stone or granite cross" images are strange and interesting. I also liked the comparison of life, or our journey through it, to a "pitch black [do you need "dark"?] room". Critique is, as always, JMHO. Thank you for the read, and I'll look forward to part 2.

Thank you Jack, you never miss em.

I appreciate JYHO! haha!
Okay I was toying with hole instead of dark room, but then couldn't decide you sold me on latter.

I'm posting the full series I think, I've been doing a lot of writing and well I like the sort of way this went (away from my normal stuff) ah just a challenge really.

Thank you once again you are a star!

I often make reference to the film 'Antichrist' - mainly because it's one of my favourites. If this is going to be a series (and I think it will) it may turn out like the flowing chapters of that film: Prologue, grief, pain, despair, the three beggars. It's a natural progression of events that flows through the script.

I'm rambling, but that's what it reminded me of. Anyway, the poem:

I like the use of the word 'ostensibly' because it feels like a subtle mockery of religious law or biblical truth that found you within that situation in the first place. Possibly an unintentional dark humour that really works.

The 'grief not only applying to death' statement is very powerful. Thought provoking.

The ending, as Jack mentioned, throws in yet more religious imagery. Another mockery perhaps. You probably didn't intend this in a poem that deals with the manifestation of grief, but I found it riddled with things that made me smirk in a most peculiar fashion to myself.

Looking forward to reading more parts of this.

Thank you for the read.

WOW, Thank you my sweet. Your words show a kindness and special thought of this project and I have a heart of gratitude for that.

"
The 'grief not only applying to death' statement is very powerful." that is indeed what the piece is there to achieve.

"flowing chapters of that film: Prologue, grief, pain, despair, the three beggars. It's a natural progression of events that flows through the script. "

You have this series understood immediately and for that I thank you. You have read every part of what there is to read into this and I love you for that.

The more parts are coming... I promise!

Thank You Missy

Al -x-

I'm not gonna blab on
anal'ytically about this eXcellent piece of poomistry

but
very fine to see yr name on me notifications again.

per d'poom.....yeah, I have a decade long significant MIA in my so-called life....butt, some die & maybe more rarely, some just disappear. Bye-bye

love@u-kozakiDan_Man_the!

Good to see you back, Al. This is very interesting, and I can't wait to see the unfolding of what could be very powerful stuff.

Thank you, Ataki. I'm excited about this. Having Fun With It! Speak Soon Al -x-

Ali! Hey, there, long time no read.

You intertwined loss of a partner on par with death perfectly. And you're right. When someone dies you can visit the grave, but losing a soul scorching relationship is an empty, unmarked tomb.

Skillful piece. It stung in all the proper places.

Oh! lol I am so reversed this noon.  But either it just got deeper, vivid and boggling.