deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Ride In The Sexy Car
She gets into the sexy car
Not really sure where it's taking her
Only knowing she wants a ride
She's excited and nervous at the same time
Not because the sexy car scares her
But because she might like the ride too much
The sexy car drives very carefully
Its passenger is very precious
She does not get into just any car
The sexy car likes to go for long drives
It likes to take its time and enjoy the trip
She is impressed that the ride is so smooth
The sexy car likes to stop along the way
To relax and smell the roses
I bet she knows what its favourite rose is
Sometimes the sexy car drives too fast
The ride can be rough and dangerous
She wants to get out of the sexy car
Oh look - the sexy car's door is open
Is the ride over?
No, the sexy car will wait until she is ready
The sexy car is not in a rush
It will not drive away without her
The sexy car wants the ride to be very comfortable
She is starting to really like the sexy car
She knows the sexy car really likes her
It's going to be a wonderfull ride...
Not really sure where it's taking her
Only knowing she wants a ride
She's excited and nervous at the same time
Not because the sexy car scares her
But because she might like the ride too much
The sexy car drives very carefully
Its passenger is very precious
She does not get into just any car
The sexy car likes to go for long drives
It likes to take its time and enjoy the trip
She is impressed that the ride is so smooth
The sexy car likes to stop along the way
To relax and smell the roses
I bet she knows what its favourite rose is
Sometimes the sexy car drives too fast
The ride can be rough and dangerous
She wants to get out of the sexy car
Oh look - the sexy car's door is open
Is the ride over?
No, the sexy car will wait until she is ready
The sexy car is not in a rush
It will not drive away without her
The sexy car wants the ride to be very comfortable
She is starting to really like the sexy car
She knows the sexy car really likes her
It's going to be a wonderfull ride...
Published 5th Sep 2013
| Edited 26th Dec 2014
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12th Sep 2013 3:01pm
Hey luv! Been a while! I found this car to be quite sexy....haha, but the repetitious use of the words 'sexy Car' took away from the read. (IMHO)Maybe this is a new form/style I'm not familiar with?! Maybe it's just me completely. lol...
Pen On~
Pen On~
hIyA Rain, good to see you back from your sabbatical :)
I was afraid readers would not see that we were dealing with a "Sexy Car" :)
But seriously, I wanted the focus of the poem to be about the sexy car and all its worth. But it may have been overdone. It was repeated at least once in each stanza.
Thanks for the comment, gave me a chance to re-examine it. Not sure yet if it was too much, I maybe be too close to the subject :)
It was also a followup to an earlier poem "The Girl and the Sexy Car" - I used the same repetition in that one also.
Cheers
LSK
I was afraid readers would not see that we were dealing with a "Sexy Car" :)
But seriously, I wanted the focus of the poem to be about the sexy car and all its worth. But it may have been overdone. It was repeated at least once in each stanza.
Thanks for the comment, gave me a chance to re-examine it. Not sure yet if it was too much, I maybe be too close to the subject :)
It was also a followup to an earlier poem "The Girl and the Sexy Car" - I used the same repetition in that one also.
Cheers
LSK
