Where this road goes

I will.....oh, wait...you're too far away Jesta!!!

Just kidding...great write and good luck!

Strider :)

ah, thankye Strider, haha

he's good at this. [:

thanks, wrangler. [:

All said with the unsaid but for the last line. I was going to say I think there is a contest running that you might win with this, but there is your name at the bottom of the page. This makes sense. I like the several levels of unspoken. The stories on his face that speak where the mouth does not. The belt-buckle promises. Layered but concise. I guess I have come to expect no less from you.

you are so generous, i bloody love getting your comments! i'm not even here that often anymore, so i miss a lot, and haven't read nearly enough lately, of anything. so, thank you for seeing the story and my mentality through the lines. lovely thing, this, to have your eyes on these pages. thanks again, braggman.

I so like the fact that this is a heated write without all the usual vocabulary, and that it has a depth, with a back story and characters that breathe.

Wonderful. Thank you for the read.

ah, Atakti, the baroness of the underground in my humble abode, and actually enjoying the decor! thanks much for letting me at your view. it's always a relief to hear that the characters aren't used to death... i often feel they are. thank you for the stop-in. [:

super
lative
topnotchly
excellency........

I wish I
was a po
     et

You've got it better than I have, saxxman. Thank you. [:

onliest
thing "I got better" than you
   is
closer to
the Last Exit End of The Road & The Big Sleep,

you lovely lassie, you

Well Jesta…

Wow!

What a pleasure to come home to a write such as this. This is a delightful piece of poetry that I will cherish always. It is testament to a revolution in your writing which follows through in the works that I found after it. A possible life revolution, reflecting in your work, or a comfort in the stories you tell? I sense a new confidence almost, in the style and choice of language and well I am in awe of it, really.

It opens beautifully with that image of battle scars traced with the finger tips, (wow you set that up in the preceding piece… genius… sheer genius) and the softness in the tone that flows through the first is so evident that I found myself whispering by the third “now”… not that it lacked any heat mind you. The opening of the second stanza makes sure the reader feels that.

“Jesta moments” that will stay always, include…

“hard hills of muscle”, “belt-buckle promises”, “hours spent in wide hands”, “soft saltwater taffy”, “daytime pen-clicks and clocks”, “heat runs up the backs of my legs”

That beautiful ending, that included dialogue deserves admiration on its own, very few modern writers can included one on one dialogue in a poem at all, never mind turning it into the defining moment…that place where the truth demands an ovation.

You my dear are indeed a truly talented modern day poet. Congratulations this is masterful penmanship.

Al-x-

Al, that comment made my day! Thank you for being so thoughtful, my friend. You are a gem. [:

Not quite believing in ever after, I wanted to dislike the conversation toward the end ... but then I read the very last verse, and that was that.

Hmm, this piece isn't erotica, isn't romance; it's both-and-more.  Belt-buckle promises (delicious phrase) are easy; it's the other promise they're flirting with that gets tough, gets the back of your legs.

Enjoyed this hugely.

i feel you, sista. i never like to let myself go into really believing in ever after. that's partly why i left it hanging. love that you enjoyed it, cause i know you'd say if you saw something off. [:

thank you, m'dear [:

Fuck the poem. Look at this:

then turn to daytime
pen-clicks and clocks

(I'd change clicks to clicking for obvious reasons, but)
Very clever and accurate couplet. A whole poem that concise would be dangerous in the DU.

i may just give it a go, Mr. A. sounds like an acceptable challenge, to chop it down a bit. 'clicking' doesn't mess with anything and i see your point, even though 'clicks' was intentional then.
 
thank you for your eyes, monsieur, and for a new little project.

Since I found this piece a few days ago I keep coming back to it. It's elegant subtlety reminds me of a photo negative. Filling in the curves and crevices with scrumptious details. There is something more tantalizing leaving out the  mundane vulgarity. I've felt stagnate for a few weeks and this piece ran through me like a static shock. Much enjoyed, thank you for the read.

that you could feel something through the stagnancy means more than i could have hoped for in trying to connect a reader with any experience. i'm in a place like that myself just now, and i love that you feel a wee blip on your radar, and that one of these pieces of brain can be a part of it. thank you for taking the time to let me know it made even a small difference to you. [:

HI :)

Is S2 L2 necessary? It's nice, but not stellar. I kind of already had the image of tracing with a fingertip after L1. In the same vein I'm not sure S2 is necessary, or the dialogue in the penultimate and final strophes. The piece could probably effectively end with one strong line after "pen-clicking and clocks:".

It's a lovely piece and your style is refined on its own. Just my two cents.

Aah, a critiquer! I don't believe I've spotted a new member of your beautiful species in a long while. You're right, S2 is mostly there to beef up S3, but if I made S1 clear enough, I should be able to transition straight to S3 more efficiently. Thank you for your fresh eyes, and hope to see more of you and your kind. [:

I'm used to trial by fire, lol. I'm looking forward to more of your work.:)

Great work Jestalessa... excited to read more