I am not a vampire

The days have come
where I have to stand in the sun
just to remind myself I am not a vampire
I am not a creature of the night
and this thing I have with the darkness
is not a fucking love affair
it is merely an eroticised affair I’ve been having with myself
and has gone on way too long

My heart doesn’t beat
so much as perpetually choke
on the emotions that meander through it

We are not one, my heart and I

It is the me I’d be if I wasn’t too busy
turning myself into smoke
and hiding in the shadows of midnight alleys
waiting for inspiration to scurry by
like a zombified rat from the sewers of possibility

Because I don’t fear the candy appled darkness
as much as I fear the love that will be lost
if you ever took the time to dissect my brain
and find the hollows that wait there
lined with the emphysema my lungs forgot

Under the summer sun, I feel like I am fading
from the familiarity of self
that exalts itself in the fingers of self-deception
but can’t ignore the kiss of life that racks my body
like an epileptic fit under the strobes lights of a rave
telling me to wake up and live
in a world where my hands aren’t always frozen

© Indie Adams 2013