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'beautiful, if i say i am'


I know her. I know the ‘hood she grew up in. street preachers, in
their Strother Martin faces. for a dollar a prayer, they will speak
your name directly to God, & you can get your soul saved at bargain
prices. but when they close up shop at night, they spend your salvation
money on the nearest whore & a pint of the local gut burner.

where little girls cower behind cement steps, clinging to raggedy
ann & watching the nightly shootouts: 8-ball side pocket cowboys
& robin hood messiahs.

& this little girl, this stone-able weed, grew up quick & mean in the
wailing winds, the auguries of desolation. her old man was blown
to hell burgling a liquor store. her mother overdosed on alley drugs
& college boys who majored in heartbreak.

she could’ve earned her degree in whoring. the pimps would have
welcomed her to the fold. but her agenda didn’t include fornicating
with pigs.

if you tell her to suck your dick, she will crush your balls. she could
cut you with a kitchen knife or a straight razor, & pick your pockets
while you’re donating blood to the blacktop.

she’s colder than January’s eyes; she’s a death-metal dream.

there is no hope in this hopeless city, but defiance shines in her aura.
& when she says she’s beautiful,
she means it…



Written by JohnFeddeler
Published
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