Kids can be mean...

I've needed help since I was 6 years old. But that is a secret I've never told an adult, who would just send me away. So I've just put on a weak fake smile. People wonder why I'm so quiet. It's because if I start to talk my voice will crack and I'll burst into tears because I'll talk and talk about how I really feel. And I've always heard, if you burden your friends that you won't have any in the end. And I know this to be true. So I don't talk much, and if I do it's at a very low volume. People get annoyed, when they have to repeat themselves over and over when they are talking to me. It's because I've learned how to just stop listening, because it gets to be too much. And I can't just cover my ears and pretend them all away every day. People wonder, how does someone that looks like that actually have a loving, caring personality? Or for that matter, a personality at all? It's because I'd rather mask myself in false wolf cloaks, because I know this black sheep doesn't belong in the pack. But if you need me. I'll be there for you. I will always have your back. I'll be there to listen, to hold you, to comfort you with whatever kind words I can think of. I'm a diary, for so many broken people who pray to whatever they believe in that someday they will see the warm light of day. But when those same people see me with a cloud over my head soaking my face and sending lightning through my body, they walk away. They don't want to carry any more weight on their already sore shoulders. Because when your already buried 6 feet deep underground, it's almost impossible to know who is caving in next. And the people you see are like landmines, you step foot in the wrong place and you're gone. Your bloodied, bruised, hurt, and confused. But no one seems to care. Because it's been said on endless loop, "Kids can be cruel." Well duh. When suicide has increased at an alarming rate within schools only a few years to date. I see little hope for the future generation. And I honestly rather just wipe the whole slate clean. Because, kids can be mean...