snowflakes in the rain

She said,
“You’re not a fucking snowflake
there’s nothing special about
you

The sun will go on shining if you’re not here
so stop trying to be the world to all the wrong people”

And there’s nothing I could say to that
no witty retort or scathing comeback on my tongue
my face lighting itself up into one glowing shade of red

Because we all want to believe we’re special
that there’s a star inside that someone will notice
someday and maybe, just maybe
we won’t have to be lonely

I’ve spent my life walking around
hunched over like an empty piece of universe
untouched by the light of the stars
wishing I was a supernova
unable to see the light
in me

And some days I feel like a snowflake in the rain
melting under the pressures
of all the things
I should be
but don’t quite measure up to
on all the scales we’re measured by
in the bright lights of commercial genealogy
airbrushed magazines and best seller books with words
that have no soul
because you can be unique
as long as you’re just like everybody else

And as much as I try to fight it and tell myself
I’m special and that I’m worth more than a fleeting glance of your time
it doesn’t change the fact that she’s right
I’m not a fucking snowflake
but I’m still unique
and I still have something to say

© Indie Adams 2013