The Panjandrum

I look from my town hall window
At the people passing by
Relishing the splendour
Of my office very high
I am the senior panjandrum*
What shall I do today
To exert my authority
And make the people pay?

Shall I introduce an increase
In extortionate parking fines?
Or create more inconvenience
With double yellow lines?
No point having authority
If it’s not imposed
raising sneaky back door taxes
So that everybody knows

Just who is in charge round here
The importance of my position
And how I ponder carefully
Every crass decision
Should I spend the morning
Creating some new plot?
Take tea with the head of paper clips
Or count my pension pot?

And after that an early lunch
Expense account of course
The thought of it make me hungry
So that I could eat a horse
Cannot be gone too long though
I must be back by three
Just in time for a biscuit
And another cup of tea

I leave the office for the night
When the clock strikes four
Tomorrow is another day
And I must graft once more
How I do it for the money
I simply can’t explain
But I’ll be back tomorrow
To screw you all again  :-)

*Oxford English Dictionary, Panjandrum:A pompous self-important person in a position of authority.