A Life of Pie

With apologies to those who, like me, might be a little overweight ;-)

Off they go to the bakers
For a pork pie and some pickle
Trundling along the pavement
On their electric obese-cycle

We’ll have two pork pies and an apple slice
To tide us o’er ‘til lunch
It's bin an hour since our breafast lad
So we need summat t’ munch

Our doctor said we’ll soon be dead
If we don’t change our ways
We think we’ll take his sound advice
Well we will one of these days

But just for now we’ll leave it out
Can’t rush these thing you see
‘Cos we still get our fat arses about
My slob missus an’ me

We live in god’s departure lounge
It’s called a nursing home
With lots of tea and biscuits
But still we have a moan

About putting on a bit more weight
It’s really all your fault
You should remove temptation
We might then call a halt

We’ve got a lawyer looking into it
To see if we can sue
For tempting us to be fat slobs
The fault’s all down to you

We’re victims of the system mate
Not our fault at all
It’s our ‘uman rite to live off t’ state
Contributing bugger-all

You might hate us for it pal
But there’s sod all you can do
We’ve got the law upon our side
So screw the likes of you!

So I tipped them from their electric chairs
In the middle of their scoff
You might be right yer pair o’ twats
Now laugh that fucker off