Keep Calm and Carry On

How can I describe how everything turns into a nightmare?

My shadow slopes from association; surreptitiously sneaking away,
Everything implodes into a self-deprecating smile,
My heart explodes all day!
In bursts I fumble and falter to fetch the wreck of my common sense for which I find myself short-changed.
My body tells me to escape all the time, and I fight to stay calm.
"Keep Calm and Carry On" - a simple command; a piece of mainstream culture;
A flat fucking flimsy poster I want to destroy!

Every step says uncertainty.
Each step is 'run away run away!",
Every forward a back; a dent in my confidence. -Why? :

Because there is a part of myself outside of myself watching me all the time.
I can see how silly my thoughts are and how foolishly I act out.
I can see my problem glaring at me all the time like an aggressive pussy pimple glaring with shine.
All the time my mind and body are incongruous foes.
All the time I have to correct so that I can function.
"Yes body, run away from my dark mind I tell you!"

I hear Queen's 'I want to break free.'
I touch a trap of air.
I smell fear baking in my sickly jacket.

All irrational, all irrational!!!
But Logic can't save me from my imagination.

Pictures swell and swirl and mix-move-match-morph.
Perhaps I should close my eyes?
But my eyes are in my brain! [Panic Panic!]
-No this is wrong. This is all wrong!

Run Run Running - into a rhythm - rhythm becomes a zone.
Zone becomes blank-mind-shut-eyes; shut-eyes-sleep-mind and see-with-my-body. Soothe soothe. Breathe breathe, and I free.