friends with drugs

Itís all been down hill
since she offered me ecstasy
and I took it
a little pill that was a gateway to nowhere
my non-event experiment to not getting high

The day was painted with beer and speedballs
and I walked over the bodies in an ironic sobriety
that would have put me to shame if Iíd ascended
anywhere above my own gravity

And they say, the road to hell
is paved with good intentions

because weíre not setting out to knife our friends
and fuck each otherís boyfriends
we just want a second where we feel completely alive
and free of pain

Yet my walls are piled high with the broken glass
of unmet promises and plans that got smoked up
the night before
coupled with the loop of I love you, and I love you, and I love you
where it loses all meaning when slurred enough times
in grim apology because she canít remember what she said

And sheís just not getting
that trust isnít found at the bottom of the fourth beer bottle
and beyond
or a text message days overdue, free of explanation
and a sorry that seems more rushed than sincere

Years of love, and keeping secrets that involve
needles in bathrooms, black eyes and drug deals gone wrong
arenít adding up to a better tomorrow
when tomorrow is just rhetorical and has been for longer
than Iíve been listening to the inside-out version of her soul

Itís all been down hill
since she offered me ecstasy
and I took it
giving into the yes culture that
has me chasing a reality check every couple of years

In the non-event of a long overdue experiment
the landscape of friendship looked different
 Ďcause despite all the pretty words
Iím the only one thatís been working towards a better tomorrow
that doesnít end with the sentence
ďI can stop any timeĒ

Itís all been down hill
since she offered me ecstasy

© Indie Adams 2013
Written by Indie (Miss Indie)
Published | Edited 26th Jun 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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