Dear 16 year-old me
Dear 16 year-old me
It's a new experience, being beautiful; I know you don't want to let it go to your head, but don't just ignore the comments; they genuinely think you're stunning. You won't have gotten used to it four years down the line (I'm still brought up short whenever someone says in passing 'you're beautiful'), so don't worry about becoming one of 'those' girls.
With beauty comes desire, and yes, you will also be desired. Now listen very carefully, because this is important: think before you act. I know he's nice, and attractive, and you really want that kiss, but you're still with someone and it would be a shame to flush it all down the plughole for the sake of a kiss. Not everyone who desires you will have pure intentions; I could tell you who to watch out for, but then you wouldn't be me, would you? Just remember that he knew what a fantastic thing he had and was scared of losing you to someone better; remember that for all his bitterness, and for his incessant whining about how life was so unfair to him, remember that you both had some good times together. You don't have to forgive him, but it'll be a very important moment in your life.
Next lesson: regret nothing. It sounds so easy but it isn't. Here's why: regret is an extreme of emotion, like love or hate, and it uses a lot of energy. While you regret you are working to half your capability, and it will show, so regret nothing. You can always see it coming, so if you know you'll regret what you're about to do, don't do it. People will call you heartless, cruel, cold; ignore them. It works for us, and that's all that matters, really.
Finally, never give up. There will be moments when you don't know where you are, who you are, or what you want, but don't despair, it's just another obstacle that we'll have to get past together. No, I still haven't found myself, and I still don't know where I'm going or what I'm feeling, but I know I'm having fun getting lost, so enjoy the ride on your way here.
Keep living; you've only just learned how to, and boy is it fun!
Always thinking of you
P.S While we're at it, swallow your fear and your pride, and tell him. That would mean I won't have to write him a very specific letter… you know who I mean.