deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Different Path (Three Word Inspiration)
There's feathers all around me now
in my hair, soft like a whisper
and bleeding from my pillow's gaping wound
a poor victim of my mindless slaughter
along with several glasses smashed
and a bottle of perfume
My nylons are to the point of tatters
my midnight escapade of chasing the moon
led me through a garden of malevolent stickers
Oh well, I never really liked them anyways
never had a pair that didn't run
much to my mother's tight-lipped distaste
A red stained towel cast onto the floor
is a brazen and shameless reminder
that sometimes I admit I take it too far
but I wouldn't change it in a heartbeat
and forsake my feral desires
to live a life of dull suffocation
dampened by pills
in my hair, soft like a whisper
and bleeding from my pillow's gaping wound
a poor victim of my mindless slaughter
along with several glasses smashed
and a bottle of perfume
My nylons are to the point of tatters
my midnight escapade of chasing the moon
led me through a garden of malevolent stickers
Oh well, I never really liked them anyways
never had a pair that didn't run
much to my mother's tight-lipped distaste
A red stained towel cast onto the floor
is a brazen and shameless reminder
that sometimes I admit I take it too far
but I wouldn't change it in a heartbeat
and forsake my feral desires
to live a life of dull suffocation
dampened by pills
Published 23rd Jun 2013
| Edited 24th Jun 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 10
reads 960
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Jun 2013 6:03am
greatness in Pen- terse tongue (that I love-and expect from Your fine writes) excellent storycraft in this write!!!
Pen on Caliban!!!
Pen on Caliban!!!
23rd Jun 2013 6:04am
23rd Jun 2013 7:00am
23rd Jun 2013 10:53am
23rd Jun 2013 5:29pm
Anonymous
23rd Jun 2013 12:44pm
What I like about this poem, is that you describe a process in details, most original write, like trance vision almost...
I really like this write, Caliban!
I really like this write, Caliban!
23rd Jun 2013 5:30pm
A fantastic write, Cali! Your poems are always amazing, and this one is no exception. I like how you describe having a wild heart and not caring what the world thinks of that wildness. I too have a bit of wildness in me, though in recent years I've settled down a bit more... but there are nights when I must dance still beneath the moon and sing loudly and act silly. If it be madness, then it be a glorious one! And your poem is a beautiful reminder that sometimes in life a girl must break free, and be silly if she so desires. For the only way to live, is to truly live! Thanks for sharing this amazing poetic piece of art, my dear friend. :)
24th Jun 2013 2:06pm
Miss caliban,
ahh the three words thread, birth of many a good scribing, this one no being no exception. this is one of your shorter writes, and it works well, some good imagery and a consistent voice makes it an easy read.
I s'pose if I was pushed for some kind of constructive-ness, I'd say the first stanza sticks out a little as the weaker, the first three lines are brilliantly written, ..soft like a whisper, great stuff
I'd have liked to see you expand on that thought just a little before you go into the glass and bottle, but that said it's only a very light suggestion.
all in, certainly a great addition to your catalogue of poems, which show a very diverse and open mind towards content.
fair play, shine on
ahh the three words thread, birth of many a good scribing, this one no being no exception. this is one of your shorter writes, and it works well, some good imagery and a consistent voice makes it an easy read.
I s'pose if I was pushed for some kind of constructive-ness, I'd say the first stanza sticks out a little as the weaker, the first three lines are brilliantly written, ..soft like a whisper, great stuff
I'd have liked to see you expand on that thought just a little before you go into the glass and bottle, but that said it's only a very light suggestion.
all in, certainly a great addition to your catalogue of poems, which show a very diverse and open mind towards content.
fair play, shine on
24th Jun 2013 10:23pm
been waiting patiently for your next poem and once again I loved the write.
keep writing and I will keep reading.
keep writing and I will keep reading.
