deepundergroundpoetry.com
The view
You failed, did you?
What is it, a job lost, wife left you?
Oh, you can’t show your face in public, and the kids don’t need
a father like you?
Drinks, or worse, your life is ruined…
Too much pain trapped in one life, and here’s an exit
off this ledge.
No one needs you, that’s what you see.
But – here is what I see.
You need you.
And here is all the space to be there
for yourself.
This space is all yours, take it.
There is a long conversation waiting
between you and yourself, about what
you truly want.
No one else is expecting anything from you –
all your time is yours alone. Well done,
you have achieved freedom.
Spend it wisely.
Now, see how far it is from this ledge to the ground? It’s not as much
space as you first thought, nor does it grant
freedom, only oblivion.
The ledge will still be here tomorrow. You can
come sit here every day, but that won’t change
the fact that oblivion will keep.
entered in the comp "Talk someone down from the ledge"
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 0
comments 20
reads 942
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: The view
22nd Jun 2013 1:37am
Re: The view
22nd Jun 2013 2:51am
re: Re: The view
26th Jun 2013 6:04am
Re: The view
Anonymous
22nd Jun 2013 2:57am
Good luck ataki.... well done!
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Re: The view
Anonymous
22nd Jun 2013 3:16am
This poem is really well penned
Good luck with the competition
Peace
Kitty
Good luck with the competition
Peace
Kitty
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Re: The view
22nd Jun 2013 6:13am
Atakti this is so true oblivion will wait.. great entry good luck.. peace Crim
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re: Re: The view
26th Jun 2013 6:05am
Re: The view
23rd Jun 2013 10:39pm
Please know I think this top shelf grade A .thank you for you entry and fuck you for making so hard for me to pick a winner.
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re: Re: The view
26th Jun 2013 6:06am
I aim to trouble and irritate.
You're welcome, Puppy! Lol
Thanks for the comment.
You're welcome, Puppy! Lol
Thanks for the comment.
Re: The view
25th Jun 2013 11:11pm
Now, see how far it is from this ledge to the ground?
great question
great work
luck in comp!!
great question
great work
luck in comp!!
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Re: The view
Anonymous
25th Jun 2013 11:45pm
This space is all yours, take it.
There is a long conversation waiting
between you and yourself, about what
you truly want.
This poem has *Greatness* written all over it. This is now a favourite on my reading list. I can so relate to the views of the narrator in this wise write. Exceptional pen, Atakti. Brilliant! Good luck in the comp. :)
*Peace & Love* Carlene
There is a long conversation waiting
between you and yourself, about what
you truly want.
This poem has *Greatness* written all over it. This is now a favourite on my reading list. I can so relate to the views of the narrator in this wise write. Exceptional pen, Atakti. Brilliant! Good luck in the comp. :)
*Peace & Love* Carlene
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re: Re: The view
26th Jun 2013 6:08am
Awww, Carlene, you making me blush. Thank you for the list add and for your kind words!
:)
:)
Re: The view
Anonymous
10th Aug 2013 10:07pm
<< post removed >>
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Re: The view
23rd Aug 2013 00:40am