deepundergroundpoetry.com
Burial
my wide eyed perception of this burial,
makes me think of real life,
what we throw into amiss,
what we solemnly dismiss,
the blade's promising, soft kiss.
makes me think of real life,
what we throw into amiss,
what we solemnly dismiss,
the blade's promising, soft kiss.
Published 19th Jun 2013
| Edited 1st Jul 2013
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Jun 2013 00:41am
Nice poem. Flows gently and innocently. But I have a couple questions: why do you have to be "wide eyed?" Isn't "perception" adequate? In the third line you use "amiss." In other words it's in the present tense. Right? Yet in the fourth line you use "dismissed." That is in the past tense. Right? Why do you change tenses? I love your last line.
marcella1
marcella1
1st Jul 2013 4:16am
