april 15 2013

somehow
i'm still at nothing
but a loss of words.
 
i can almost remember when abraham lincoln  
was shot and killed
by john wilkes booth  
in 1865.
 
i vividly remember in 1912 the RMS titanic sinking  
after striking an iceberg,  
killing all but 710  
of it's 2,227 passengers and crew on board.
 
i may not remember being born in 1992
but i'll remember how i felt 21 years later
sitting at a bar for the first time
watching two bombings  
that had just happened
on the tv.
 
and i'll always remember  
how my dad assured me  
this is the end
and those 78 people
are like really
...
really dead
 
probably even a lot more than that.
 
so does that mean
78 new people
and probably a lot more than that
share the same birthday as me now?
their souls blown out of the sky  
by a violent gust of fire
 
to be carried away
and born again
as somebody else
 
or are they still the same?
 
so that's why i stole your little brother's white bracelet
that his school gave out
with boston in big black print
and a little running man on it
 
because when everyone else spent their 21st first birthday
drinking it up having a grand old laugh
 
i spent mine  
drinking for the three
and many many others
that died
 
because it's so god damn narcissistic  
and plainly just mean
to make this whole thing
about me.  
 
----
 
april 15 2013
please
everybody rest in peace
for the rest of my life
i'll be drinking
for thee.