Life Punches Back

Walking around the city feeling low, I stopped over the bridge, Sat down and watched the water go, Thinking why can't life flow like that, Smooth and it don't punch back, Whatever tho, As I stand up and the wind catches my back, I thought to myself what if I slipped and fell over? Would I break my back? Or would the water take me, Could I possibly do that? I wish it worked like that, I don't really care anymore, And the idea is thrilling...And that water can't be any more chilling, Then my cold life which was never fulfilling, Huh...contemplating retirement from a life that never gave me shit, Maybe that's my fault, Life 'gives' you nothing, And I didn't try...So in return I got shit, It dosent matter anymore, Nothing was ever again the same, Except for one thing...I felt alone and ashamed, I'm guilt tripping on a bridge, I'm bound to slip and fall break a few of my ribs, Broken or not I'm having trouble breathing, I forgot about all my dreams, As a child my role models crushed my hopes, So I figured what's the point of having a dream? Robbed of my imagination it's almost impossible now to break me of my concentration, What am I set on tho? I'm clueless and even I'm not sure...Where my next steps are gonna go, When did everything get so twisted, Who even knows I exist? Pardon my paranoid mind I keep pacing back and forth in a straight line, Scrambled and unsure these are the chronicles of a suicide attempt, My legend grows as my insecurities start to show...And now the people start to circle and most are yelling don't go! How do they know me, And why the hell does anybody care? Even walking through the mall I got cold stares, God damn the sky is spinning and if I do this I damn myself, I'm so confused, Oh so confused, When I hear voices the adrenaline hits hard, Immediately my heart beats like times ten, I wasn't even that serious, But these nosy bastards had to get into my business, Now everybody is invited to my pity party, And honestly it just feels worse, Now everybody knows I'm a loser, I can hear the gossip already, flashbacks from my shady past, and the people I left behind, Oh I'm so confused and dealing with an illness, If they only knew what I did would they still try to stop me? Every time I step on the ledge, Flashbacks to when my kids were young and I left, It was the saddest time of my life, Yet I couldn't resist I didn't even say goodbye, A mother at 22, and three kids raised alone, Shelters for a year and hell for more than you know, But we grew and I'm damn proud of who we became without you, I heard about it months later... The man on a bridge who jumped, But that man jumped so many years ago, The role model I never chose, And the father we never had, This story is for everybody today, That is celebrating a second Mothers Day, And lord knows I pray... Not for a father it's too late, But limit the number of those who suffer the same fate, And let them grow in their own way, Never following in their fathers foot steps, Lord show them the way, I pray Amen.

So happy Father's Day.