deepundergroundpoetry.com
Why I'm single - stand alone complex stanzas
You're intelligent and witty,
Creative in style but still single
Why? - She asked me.
Why? why?
Because I am
I am... a self-condemned demon
I hide from others
Too wrapped up in the self
Love does not live here
You ask Why?
Oh my, my
I'm not as great as you make me out
An cruel Irony to the words I spout
I am what I am
And I surely am
Hounded by questions,
My own inquisitions
Well I'm here
Take me now
Someone
Anyone
Just satisfy a few requirements first.
I did look for love once
All I learned from that
Was an old lie
My heart did die
"Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never to have loved at all".
I'm bitter, old before my time
Youth and innocence is gone
How I yearn to create rhyme
Fun's long gone too
I'm the laughing man?
I was now I'm not
Who'd now be my fan?
Who could love this un-Viddaxian?
(Tis not to be poor soul)
Creative in style but still single
Why? - She asked me.
Why? why?
Because I am
I am... a self-condemned demon
I hide from others
Too wrapped up in the self
Love does not live here
You ask Why?
Oh my, my
I'm not as great as you make me out
An cruel Irony to the words I spout
I am what I am
And I surely am
Hounded by questions,
My own inquisitions
Well I'm here
Take me now
Someone
Anyone
Just satisfy a few requirements first.
I did look for love once
All I learned from that
Was an old lie
My heart did die
"Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never to have loved at all".
I'm bitter, old before my time
Youth and innocence is gone
How I yearn to create rhyme
Fun's long gone too
I'm the laughing man?
I was now I'm not
Who'd now be my fan?
Who could love this un-Viddaxian?
(Tis not to be poor soul)
Published 5th Nov 2010
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5th Nov 2010 2:52am
Intriguing... wondering, is one's self what is donig the condemnation. perhaps former events led to such feelings
Too wrapped up in the self.
The poet should endeavor to write with humility, to find a way to express a personal experience in a way that speaks to the experience of being human beings everywhere. The first line alienates us from you, because all we see is self indulgence without care for the reader. If you want to be read, step back from the mirror, lift your eyes, and look around.
Navel gazing, without insight or sufficient life experience, is not good poetry...keep reading.
The poet should endeavor to write with humility, to find a way to express a personal experience in a way that speaks to the experience of being human beings everywhere. The first line alienates us from you, because all we see is self indulgence without care for the reader. If you want to be read, step back from the mirror, lift your eyes, and look around.
Navel gazing, without insight or sufficient life experience, is not good poetry...keep reading.
5th Nov 2010 3:26pm
I can't quite see how you can say a self poem can be too much wrapped in the 'self'. But I wrote this while down and out; so its melodramatic and ill-composed.
I cannot step back if I do not first know what I'm stepping back from, that is the mystery of the 'self'.
5th Nov 2010 3:56pm
I personally enjoyed it. I felt like I was in your head listening to a conversation you were having with yourself. To me it felt intimate.
5th Nov 2010 4:44pm
God damn...totally agree. These things are so subjective, and I only my know my 'kind' of poem...so ignore whatever doesn't work for you :-)
6th Nov 2010 11:41pm
Thank you hemihead and Shannon Lee. It is kind of like a conversation in my head where only I know whats going on.
Its food for thought, maybe I should try to expresss stuff more clearly in future, not always though.
