Fly me to the moon    

kinda creepy but well written-the visuals are disturbing, LOL
nice work, craic

Mikki,

ah, well creepy was exactly the kinda thing I was going for here so I'm happy that came across a bit.

Thanks for the visit and words missus

The minute I saw the title I thought of one of my favorite old tunes. You pleasantly surprised me Eamonn.

Much enjoyed :)

Maggie me ol' flower

yeah, I was gonna title it different, but picked the easy one in the end. Normally I'm ok with titles, but I get lazy sometimes

pleasantly surprised is good  ..I'd have been happier with words like 'impressed' or astounded ..but pleasantly surprised is cool too  

..fuckin with ya missus :)

thanks for dropping by and throwing dwon your thoughts

it reminds me of the main character's relationship with Wilson, the volley ball from "Castaway"... i didn't find it creepy so much as very original in the hoovering flies image, though he did seem to be going a bit mad. hence the reference to Wilson. anyway, i'm a bit scattered, but you have achieved a hovering mood with this piece. well penned [:

Jesta,

Not sure I remember Castaway, but certainly what you describe is right there in bed with the kind of feeling I was trying to give off.

The narrator, is in the process of slowly going mad. it's another take on being lonely, I think it brings on a madness in one form or another.

..you hoovered? ..you plugged it in right?  :P

many thanks for dropping in and leaving your brain print, pretty Lady.

 

Firstly - Man knows how to use a hoover. Kudos.

Secondly - I can see where Jesta was going with the 'Castaway' reference. It's a little bit sociopathic this one. Disjointed. A tiny descent into madness, so in those terms it reflects the themes of loneliness for the competition very well.

I kinda liked this. Got all kinds of marvellous images from it.

Thank you for the read.

Missy,     (man can do many many wonderful things)

Sociopathic ..  ah. I almost don't want to say, I actually hoovered up a load of flies some years back, fkn countryside in the summer, but I didn't realize they'd get back out when I turned the power off.  ..that's where that image came from.

I'm really happy that the madness is showing through here, I had first thought it needed a stanza or two to reinforce it.

Thank you for the visit and words Missy.  

I like how unique this is, in terms of approaching the topic of loneliness...

Good luck with the comp! (You'll need to modify your entry, you forgot to put in that fabulous title).

:)

Atakti,

really happy you liked this, I do that a lot y'know, use comps to try out different angles for a subject,   most stay on the comps, some bloom.


yep, I'll go modify that entry now, good thinking Bat-girl

super....
but
then eye'll love just about anything that has to do wit hoovering

most en'joy'ble

Daniel,
 
good to see you here man,hope all is well. hoovering  .. keep getting an image from Queen's Break Free video. ..ahh when music was ..music  
 
 
thanks for dropping by man

Reminds me of the time I hoovered something,
I fell into a hole..
face first on the grass
I watched ants go about their lives..

Excellent pen mate.

Carpe

I think I've had that same experience also ;)


cheers for the words man, and the drop by

 

In my deep dark place, this sooths me!

I love it!! ;-)

Tommie,

there are a couple of ways to respond that comment, I think I'll just go with

Thank you kindly for the visit and kind words  

Cryptic!! Me likes

Gigi, me ol' flower

me likes that you like

cheers for dropping in and leaving your thoughts

E, I get that it's meant to be about loneliness, but the ending did make me laugh, a self-deprecating humour. On a more serious note, I found boredom in here with the loneliness, and idk if it's just me, but they tend to go hand in hand with random acts of hoovering flies and then naming them. A piece with some hidden depths here ;)

Peace, Indie

Hullo

..jaysus, Indie. comment's been here three years and no reply. very sorry, lady

there is of course all you mention, and I thank you for seeing it, also for dropping in and leaving your thoughts

"Fly me to the moon
and let me play among the stars" - was a favorite tune by my Dad.

You certainly have an eerie way of humor, Lep...
your choice of words fascinates me!

Engr

Hello, appoligies for the slightly delayed responce.

eerie way with words, I can live with that, and thank you for it

haha the title got me here but...wow nothing what i expected.. catching flies huh Mr. Lep? :))
Good one!

Hullo

cheers, Vee

thank you for dropping in and leaving your thought-print

yes, yes I am. If you'd like some I can arrange a very very low interest rate

thanks, Gabe. good to see you, man

Oooh, this poem gives me a little chill, in a great way. I can see the flies’ bodies crawling out of the Hoover. Simple and enchanting poem.