Constant Suicidal Agony

Dear friends or more:--



Degenerate the silence from my life;

Slowly wash away the tints of the rainbow,

Venedict the pipe dreams that yearn in this wilting heart,

Chains to link these pains together with one lock.

Wish me away, I wish you could.

Wish me into oblivion, into nothingness, into silence.

I'm just a boy with nothing to offer the cold, desolate, wasteland of life.

You live in that wasteland, future women to glimpse this face.

To you that wasteland is a lush forest, but what has become of me to see the wasteland.

I'm just the malformed child who never clicked the way.

The emotionally burned kid playing adult, is that what I am?

I am useless, what do you want from me, what do you expect?

I don't belong, and you do.

How can I compare to boyfriends or friends of the past or present.

I can't.

I've always felt like I have never belonged...different.

You see this kindly face and you would never suspect the truth.

What is your truth?

I don't have what you need.

I can't offer anything substantial,

And that fact is killing me.

I hide my own secrets and they scorch, daily.

It is a constant reminder of my...inadequacy,

And that I have no staying place.

What I want is what you want, reader.

I want love, friends, and a place I really belong,

Where the pain is nowhere to be seen,

But that is a dream,

And that dream is killing me.

I have no place with you my friends.